One of the most productive things you do to further your career is practice compassion in business.

Tolerance vs. Compassion

I was fed up with my mortgage company. I’d refinanced for a lower interest rate and in the process, my payment would be $400 a month lower. Unfortunately, there had been missteps and misunderstandings throughout the process. There was a $500 incentive for the refi, though after I’d gone through the process, they informed me that I wasn’t eligible. The paperwork was lost. The mortgage agent didn’t return my calls. The list went on and on. When I finally felt like I was done, I received my annual statement, with an escrow payment adjustment to cover taxes and insurance. My payment went up by $250 a month. They had miscalculated the amount of taxes that should be included. Since the statement was a bit confusing, I called to talk to customer service.

I experienced something really interesting. The young woman who took my call patiently managed our conversation. She didn’t say anything inappropriate, though she spoke to me as if I was trying her patience. She didn’t express any empathy or create any kind of connection. It wasn’t until I hung up that I realized that she managed my disappointment and angst with tolerance. She definitely wasn't practicing compassion in business.

Defining Compassion in Business

Merriam-Webster gives the following definitions for tolerance and compassion.

Tolerance: the ability to accept, experience, or survive something harmful or unpleasant

Compassion: sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it

The distinction between tolerance and true compassion in business is a critical one. When you deal with a difficult coworker or customer, are you tolerating them? Are you simply “getting through” the conversation?

Or are you truly compassionate? Are you imagining yourself in their situation, so you can really understand their anger and upset? Do you have a “desire to alleviate” your coworker's or customer's negative feelings?

What It Takes to Be Compassionate in Business

Compassion in business requires an openness, a willingness to not take anger personally, and a true desire to see the situation from someone else's point-of-view. It may take practice to develop your compassion, though the pay-off is huge in improving business relationships.

As you work with your office peers and customers, particularly the challenging ones, notice whether you’re tolerating them or taking a truly compassionate approach. Compassion brings real communication, strong connection and, in difficult situations, effective resolution.

What do you think? Do you notice when you’re simply tolerating someone at work?