I learned the the true meaning of integrity in business at a workshop about twenty years ago. There were probably 180 people taking the course and it was presented by Landmark Education.
In this course, more than 180 people sat in a room in uncomfortable chairs for three days. On Friday night, we ingested the material from six to about 11 or midnight. Then we got up Saturday morning, and cam back e at nine or eight or nine o'clock in the morning. Then we were participating in trainings, exercises and conversations until 11 or midnight. And then on Sunday, same thing. We showed up early in the morning, and they let us go at like five or six o'clock that evening. It was grueling. And it was also amazing and eye opening.
I learned things that changed my life at that workshop. And one of them was the real definition of integrity in business and in my personal life. In our culture, I would suggest that we're famous for the little white lie. When you get uncomfortable or you don't want to address something with someone, or maybe you made a promise to someone and you didn't want to keep it. You make up an excuse, or use a little white lie, to make things good again.
The way they taught us about integrity at Landmark was really interesting. They kept us in the classroom for several hours purposefully, because it gets the traineers a little perturbed. They gave us breaks to get a drink or use the facilities or to grab a meal, but during those breaks, they also gave us homework. So I'd be driving home at 11 o'clock at night and since I committed in the last session to calling someone on my way home, I'd wake them up and discuss an issue in our relationship. The whole Landmark Forum program is focused on improving your life. And one of the best ways to do that is by improving your relationships.
Now, after we went on those breaks, if anyone came back the least bit late, the doors to the seminar room would be closed. People who came in after that point got dressed down pretty severely by the session leaders. It was really interesting, because at first, it kind of made me mad, like “what is wrong with these people? Why are they giving that person such a hard time. You know, maybe something happened. Things happen!” We were all making excuses for that late person in our heads.
At Landmark, they simply didn't accept that “things happened.” They had a certain amount of material to deliver, within a certain timeframe. When we got there, we were asked (and we agreed) to return from breaks promptly and not make people wait. It truly was a matter of integrity. Within the first night, we all knew not to be late getting back from a break. Be in your seat and ready to learn. You really didn't want to be the person that was called out.
Over the four sessions during this particular Landmark course, I really got the meaning of integrity. Integrity means no excuses and no little white lies. It means being true to your word and also being your word. And in business in the US, we're not big on that.
A Story About a Little White Lie
At the time that I took the Landmark course, I managed a production studio in Metro Detroit. We basically had clients come to us when they needed to shoot or edit a corporate video or a commercial. They would tell us they needed a production crew with a camera person, audio person and a video tech. We would secure the people and the gear and they would tell us what day and time to be in the studio or on location.
Our production manager, the person who actually did all the scheduling of the gear and people, would sometimes run into a client that would say, “Hey, I'd really like this camera person or I'd really like that video tech on my shoot that we used last time.” The production business is based on relationships and everyone had their favorite production crews.
Unfortunately, sometimes the client would call and they would say, after we'd already put everybody on the crew on hold, “I forgot to tell you that I really prefer this camera guy, or this, you know, video tech.” Our production manager would have to go back and cancel the person that she put on hold for the day and hire the person that the client requested. It happened.
One day we talked about a particular occasion when this had happened and she said, “Well, I just told him the shoot got canceled.”
“Why did you do that?” I asked.
“Well, I didn't want to hurt his feelings,” she told me.
Now, that “little white lie” wasn’t a big deal, right? We’ll come back to it in a minute.
Integrity in Business Means Not Telling Untruths
There are several reasons that a little white lie might be appealing, but it's not something you want to do if you want to be known for integrity in business.
- They can help you get out of having to have a difficult or uncomfortable situation.
- You may be able to avoid disappointing someone with bad news.
- You don’t have to worry about someone getting mad at you if you tell them what they want to hear.
Unfortunately, when you tell a little white lie, you’ve done something that could prevent you from creating connected positive relationships, something that's absolutely critical to your future success. Your goal in the business sector of your life should be to create as many connected positive relationships as you can, for several reasons, including:
- Referral business
- References for future job opportunities
- Job leads
Trust me. Developing a reputation for integrity in business is worth the ongoing effort. Twenty years from now, when people in your business community and industry know that you can be trusted, you’ll be successful in your career. You want to be that person that someone can recommend to a business associate of friend of theirs and you'll do what you say you'll do. Those referral and reference relationships are always your goal.
Back to My Production Story
The production manager and I continued our conversation and I told her, “You’ve got to be careful, because in a small community, like the production community in Metro Detroit, that guy may hear about it and know that he was replaced by someone else.”
I was concerned that not only would this man not trust our scheduler, he may not think that any of us at the company had any integrity in business.
At that point, who could blame the cancelled production tech if he made up some reasons of his own for why he was replaced on the shoot? Did he behave inappropriately? Did he do something wrong? Or does the client not like him? Lies can cause people to make up all kinds of stories about the whys. And when you lie to someone, and they find out about it, you’ve lost their trust.
Here are some reasons NOT to tell a little white lie:
- We’re all adults. And if someone can’t act like an adult during a difficult conversation, that’s on them, not you.
- It can cause disruption and drama.
- Untruths create a barrier between you and the person you lied to, because you have to keep track of the lie and make sure you don’t accidentally give it up.
When you’re tempted to tell a “little white lie,” remember that business is about connected positive relationships.
If you're upset with someone or if you have to tell someone some bad news, put that connected positive relationship in the front of your mind when you have that conversation. It will help you respond in a way that results in a positive outcome. When you go into a situation with the intention of a positive outcome, you'll be more likely to get one.
Want to hear more? Listen to Episode 7 of the Work Mom Says podcast here: Integrity and the Little White Lie