Themes discussed in this episode

• The origin story behind the podcast
• Do as I say not as I do
• How you show up counts
• Nobody cares how you feel
• Avoid office romance at all costs

Episode Highlights

Timestamped inflection points from the show

1:30 – The origin story: I wanted to help young professionals build successful careers by sharing lessons and advice that I learned the hard way.
8:00 – Do as I say, not as I do: I’ve made just about every mistake there is to make in my own career, so I’m sharing all of them here to help you be strategic and successful in every aspect of your career.
9:30 – How you show up counts: Always dress the part of a successful employee because others will form their opinions of you on how you present yourself.
11:30 – Nobody cares how you feel: Don’t let your emotions get the better of you in the workplace. It’s essential to take care of your mental health, so it isn’t negatively affecting your performance.
14:00 – Don’t date your coworkers. EVER: Office relationships can get messy and are awkward for everyone, so just avoid them at all costs.

Top Quotes

3:00 – “What you want to do is create as many of those authentic connected relationships as you can because that will help you not only just rise through the ranks but learn and grow and get that next opportunity and succeed.”
4:15 – “Experience is the best teacher. It is also the most expensive when you make those big mistakes. There are usually consequences and it usually takes a little bit to get back on your feet and learn from them and do it better next time.”
8:20 – “As I was writing this book, I kept thinking ,’What makes you think you’re the person to tell people how to act at work?’ What bubbled up is that I’ve done all the crazy stupid things I talk about here I wouldn’t be surprised if I’ve made just about every mistake there is to make in my own career”
9:50 – “If you find that you’re in the workplace and you really have a problem managing your emotions, maybe you cry easily, you get angry easily, or you snap at people, get yourself to a counselor because that points to a deeper problem.”
10:30 – Whether you like it or not people will form their opinions of you and your competence in your work by how you present yourself.

Transcript

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

00:00:00:21 – 00:00:03:06
VO
Welcome to work, Mom says.

00:00:03:10 – 00:00:05:02
Lori Jo Vest
Don’t be an idiot.

00:00:05:13 – 00:00:12:18
VO
And now here’s your host Work Mom

00:00:12:29 – 00:00:41:07
Lori Jo Vest
I’m Lori Jo Vest Thank you so much for joining me for this episode of Work. Mom says today we’re going to talk a little bit about my own origin story. I made every mistake there is to make. I’m just going to be honest with you. I started my career in the eighties, late eighties, early nineties, and I came out of college with a chip on my shoulder, a big attitude.

00:00:41:19 – 00:01:05:06
Lori Jo Vest
I was angry at the world. A little bit of a party girl, but I wanted to be successful. I knew I wanted to be successful. I didn’t have a lot of family support and certainly not any family financial support. So I knew right away I needed to make enough money to take care of myself. And I had sent out, you know, a couple hundred resumes.

00:01:05:19 – 00:01:29:20
Lori Jo Vest
And that was the only job that came back and said, okay, let’s interview, let’s hire you. And I didn’t even really want the job because it was in sales and it was selling ad space on billboards. But I didn’t didn’t want to live with relatives, you know, I wanted to be on my own. And I decided that, you know, I would take the job and see what happened and maybe I’d end up leaving the job after a little bit.

00:01:29:20 – 00:01:51:13
Lori Jo Vest
But I at least had some money coming in and, you know, we’d see what would come of it. So I was really fortunate that Mr. Laster was so generous and he would spend half an hour every day. He told me if I came in early, he would spend a half an hour every day teaching me what he knew.

00:01:52:06 – 00:02:43:15
Lori Jo Vest
And let me tell you, it was like boot camp and it was amazing. He’s the one that taught me the value of connected positive relationships in business. You’ll hear people say it’s not what you know, it’s who you know. And I would add to that, it’s not what you know, it’s who you are in relationship with. And as a new person, you know, a new person that’s new to the career world, what you want to do is create as many of those, you know, authentic, connected relationships as you can, because that will help you not only just rise through the ranks, but learn and grow and get that next opportunity and succeed.

00:02:44:02 – 00:03:07:05
Lori Jo Vest
And David had a lot a lot, lot, lot, lot of patience with me. And there were a lot of times when, you know, I’d bring him a problem, but I wouldn’t just come and dump a problem in his lap instead of trying to figure out what the solution would be on my own. One of the first lessons you learn Don’t go to your boss with every problem.

00:03:07:05 – 00:03:28:09
Lori Jo Vest
Come up with a solution. Then go to your boss and say, Is this the right solution? But he taught me all those different lessons and I was extremely fortunate. One of the things he used to do, which I recommend any boss do to their younger staff, because it’s kind of a challenge that they can take on that will teach them how to be comfortable being uncomfortable.

00:03:29:06 – 00:03:54:15
Lori Jo Vest
He used to say to me, David would catch me, you know, on a Tuesday afternoon and say, Hey, there’s a meeting of this ad club on Friday. And I know that this bigwig from this big ad agency is going to be there. And if you come back and tell me that you didn’t sit next to her at that event, I’m going to be so disappointed and I would be like a deer in the headlights.

00:03:54:15 – 00:04:22:00
Lori Jo Vest
Oh, my God, don’t make me do that. But because he knew I could and he knew I could, you know, connect and meet people and make an impression, he challenged me and I would I would go to the meeting and I’d sit next to that person. And before you know, it, I had a relationship, a connection with that person and those kinds of things from a really good boss or mentor will help you grow your career.

00:04:22:14 – 00:04:43:15
Lori Jo Vest
So part of what I like to do with this podcast and with my book that’s coming out in middle of April is be that person for the young professionals. I want to be that person that gives you that advice, that helps you succeed and helps you avoid some of the mistakes that I made and some of the mistakes that a lot of people make.

00:04:43:15 – 00:05:14:27
Lori Jo Vest
We’re human as we learn, we make mistakes. Experience is the best teacher. It is also the most expensive. When you make those big mistakes, there are usually consequences and it usually takes a little bit to get back on your feet and learn from them and do it better next time. So I guess you could say after working with young people, as I’ve gotten older, I thought, wouldn’t it be kind of cool to help young people not make those dumb mistakes that I did?

00:05:14:27 – 00:05:42:00
Lori Jo Vest
Because I’m hoping that you’ll get into a situation and you’ll hear my voice in your head saying, No, no, no, no, no. Be strategic, because that’s the primary bit of information I’m always conveying is be strategic when you are trying to jump start your career. Being strategic and thoughtful about your actions and your words is what will help you be successful.

00:05:42:00 – 00:06:24:18
Lori Jo Vest
And one of the secrets that David Laster taught me that I have to mention constantly, because I think it really is one of those top tier aspects of business is connected. Positive relationships are the backbone of a solid career. How many people you know, it’s not who you know, it’s who you have good relationships with. And so everywhere you go in business, make friends, make connections, stay in touch with people on LinkedIn, ask people to go to lunch, call people just to see how they’re doing, stay connected, send little notes.

00:06:25:02 – 00:06:44:04
Lori Jo Vest
And those those kinds of things are what will help you be a successful professional. But there’s a ton of other lessons too. And I put this book together basically. It’s called Work. Mom says Don’t be an idiot. 38 Lessons You Don’t Want to Learn the hard way. I learned the hard way. I’d like to help you avoid that.

00:06:44:16 – 00:07:11:21
Lori Jo Vest
So I’m going to spend a little bit of time today just reading a couple of chapters from the book. It’s very short. Each lesson is one page and you can open it up and start reading from any section and you’ll get something out of it. Very self-serving here, but it will make an exceptional gift for new graduates, for birthdays, for people who have just two or three years in their career, people who are hoping to grow and succeed.

00:07:11:21 – 00:07:34:01
Lori Jo Vest
So it’ll be on Amazon and probably Barnes and Noble and some of the other booksellers online by the end of April, hoping for mid-April. But I want to read a few things. I’m first, I’m going to read the chapter that tells you why I wrote it, and it’s called Do As I Say, Not As I Do, because again, I made the mistakes.

00:07:34:09 – 00:07:53:17
Lori Jo Vest
I don’t want you to make the same ones. So here’s here’s from page 17. Do as I say, not as I do. As I was writing this book, I kept thinking, What makes you think you’re the person to tell people how to act at work? What bubbled up is that I’ve done all the crazy, stupid things I talk about here.

00:07:53:29 – 00:08:19:24
Lori Jo Vest
I wouldn’t be surprised if I’ve made just about every mistake there is to make in my own career. I’ve been the youngster at the office who thinks she knows everything and quickly learned that she doesn’t and said dumb things in meetings and been entirely embarrassed. When I got shut down by my boss. I’ve said something less than complimentary about a coworker and seen that comment fly through the staff ranks and back to the coworker about whom I said it.

00:08:20:09 – 00:08:46:25
Lori Jo Vest
Uncomfortable and an ignorant choice on my part. I’ve had an office romance and regretted it. Too many cocktails at the company Christmas party and been fired for talking politics. I’ve also managed teams of young creative professionals that set an example of how to enter the workforce and build a solid reputation and career over 30 years in business, making idiot mistakes and working with young people to help them grow their careers.

00:08:46:25 – 00:09:06:26
Lori Jo Vest
I’ve learned the lessons I’m sharing here. I hope they can benefit you. That’s a little bit about why I wrote this book, but let’s talk about let me read through a couple more, a couple more chapters for you. They have really fun little lessons, and it may inspire you to pick up a copy for yourself or your friends or your family members.

00:09:06:26 – 00:09:37:15
Lori Jo Vest
So chapter five is how you show up counts. When you go to work. You’re being paid to be a representative for a company they think enough of you to add you to their team in return. Think enough of them to dress the part of a solid, responsible employee. Follow the adage and dress for the job you want. If top leadership dresses business casual while others dress like they’re hanging out in the couch on the couch at home, which one do you think you should mimic?

00:09:37:15 – 00:09:58:02
Lori Jo Vest
If you want to rise through the ranks and to have a successful career with the company, watch the personal presentation culture of the company and follow the unwritten dress code of the most successful people there. Whether you like it or not, people will form their opinions of you and your confidence in your work by how you present yourself.

00:09:58:02 – 00:10:26:06
Lori Jo Vest
Are you dressed appropriately? Are you well-groomed? Do you have clothing or an accessory like a watch or statement jewelry that makes you feel more powerful and helps you make the powerful impression you want to make? Wear more of that. A good test of how put together you should be when you head to the office is this If your boss asks you to meet with your biggest client that day, would you be prepared in both your mindset and your attire, your answer should always be yes.

00:10:26:16 – 00:11:00:06
Lori Jo Vest
Presentation really matters. It does. It does matter. Even in these days of very casual work attire. Think about the people that you would like their jobs and watch them, how they present themselves, what they wear, how they act and bounce off of what they do. Maybe in your own way. But think about the impression you get when you meet someone who’s dressed well and sharp and has a fresh haircut versus somebody who looks like they just rolled off the couch and came to work.

00:11:00:27 – 00:11:27:21
Lori Jo Vest
Big difference. Big difference. So, okay, let’s move on to chapter ten. Now, this one sounds pretty harsh, but and it is a little harsh, but the workplace can be really harsh. So chapter ten Nobody cares how you feel when you see a theatrical production. You expect the lead actors to perform and give you their very best. You may have spent $150 a ticket to sit in those seats and watch that show.

00:11:28:01 – 00:11:48:17
Lori Jo Vest
You don’t care if you just got a divorce and he’s playing a romantic lead. You don’t care. That’s pretty much how people you work with feel. They don’t care if you’ve had a lousy morning, spilled your coffee, got stuck in traffic just got a call that you’re behind on your student loans. Well, they might care a little, but they’re more concerned about getting their jobs done.

00:11:49:11 – 00:12:12:29
Lori Jo Vest
Your being paid to be there, put on your best face and do your best work every day no matter how you feel. That is what it means to be a professional. If you have a problem with your negative behavior to the point that you can’t perform at the office, consider taking a day off, seeing your doctor or engaging a therapist to help you become that person who can better manage your emotions and most circumstances.

00:12:13:29 – 00:12:43:22
Lori Jo Vest
You will never hear me say that I’m a therapist. I am not a therapist. I have some coaching ability. I am not a therapist. If you find that you’re in the workplace and you really have a problem managing your emotions, maybe you cry easily or you get angry easily. You snap at people, get yourself to a counselor, because that points to maybe a deeper problem that could benefit from some verbal ventilation and guidance that a counselor, psychotherapist can help you with.

00:12:44:04 – 00:13:05:27
Lori Jo Vest
So you’ll hear me talk a lot about how taking care of your own mental health is going to make a huge difference for how you perform at work. So, you know, don’t ignore your mental health ever do it. And if you do, you’ll do so at your own peril. So let’s move on to another chapter here. Let’s see.

00:13:05:27 – 00:13:30:27
Lori Jo Vest
How about let’s talk about this one, because this is this is kind of funny. Chapter 22. Get your bread, not your meat at the office. I’ve done it and I’ve seen other people do it. You meet someone at work and you like each other. Before you know it, you’re dating, living together, working together. And it’s awkward for everybody.

00:13:30:27 – 00:13:49:19
Lori Jo Vest
Oh, and then you break up, and then things really go to hell. And you can’t stand seeing them at work. And everybody wonders why you’re acting funny. You, of course, don’t think you’re acting funny at all, but you are. People at work know about it, and it’s a sign of inappropriate boundaries to start a romantic relationship with someone from the office.

00:13:49:19 – 00:14:12:09
Lori Jo Vest
Work is work. Play is play. And when you mix the two too much, you get chaos. Just don’t do it. If you find yourself wanting to date someone at work, consider finding another job before you start dating them. It’s one of those best practice kinds of things. Trust me, just don’t. And if either of you is married and you start some kind of romance nonsense, you suck.

00:14:12:19 – 00:14:36:18
Lori Jo Vest
People will judge you. And that’s entirely appropriate. You earn that kind of judgment when you don’t adhere to critical agreements like marriage that you’ve made with someone. That’s a tough one. I get a lot of flack about my advice to not have romantic relationships at work, but I’ve seen so many of them fail, and when they fail, it’s ugly for everybody.

00:14:36:18 – 00:15:02:29
Lori Jo Vest
So, you know, it’s best to just consider people you work with as not good dating material. It makes sense and it avoids a lot of awkwardness. If you do start a relationship, one of you should start looking for another job pretty quick so that you can get out of that uncomfortable relationship slash coworker situation. And because it’s uncomfortable, maybe not for you, but it’s uncomfortable for other people.

00:15:03:18 – 00:15:22:15
Lori Jo Vest
I remember when I worked in the agency world, there was a there were a couple of people in the creative department that we all kind of started to notice that whenever you saw one, you saw the other and he was married and she wasn’t. And but she kind of followed him around and he followed her around. And before you know it, he was getting a divorce.

00:15:22:20 – 00:15:44:12
Lori Jo Vest
They were having an affair. Everybody in the office knew it. And it caused us all to kind of feel differently about both of them because, you know, he’s married and he’s cheating on his wife and she knows he’s married and she’s having a sexual relationship with him. Not a good look. It’s just not a good look. No matter what your beliefs are outside of the office, I’m not discounting those beliefs.

00:15:44:12 – 00:16:19:07
Lori Jo Vest
But people at work will judge you for the behavior that you exhibit at the office. And marriage is a contract. And you know, married people, people who believe in that contract will judge you if you’re blatantly disregarding it. And I know that’s hard for some people to understand, but it’s just reality. And so it’s a really good thing to remember if you decide you want to start a relationship with someone that you know through work, take it offline or, you know, find another job and and try to keep it on the hush hush until one of you leaves.

00:16:19:20 – 00:16:41:01
Lori Jo Vest
So it just makes sense. So that’s all I’ve got for you today. This is a short episode, but I hope I’ve given you some really valuable information. Again, take a look for work. Mom says don’t be an idiot. 38 lessons you don’t want to learn the hard way. Coming out on Amazon, some time in April, mid to late April, not quite sure on the date yet.

00:16:41:16 – 00:17:04:06
Lori Jo Vest
And I would love to hear from you. If you do pick it up, please leave me a review variant. Just interested in reviews. Also looking for reviews for this podcast. So if you’re a regular listener, please drop me some stars on Spotify, Apple Music, iTunes, anywhere you’re listening. And I always have to remind you that there is a website at work.

00:17:04:06 – 00:17:29:27
Lori Jo Vest
Mom says, Don’t be an idiot where you can listen to all these episodes, read the show notes, get more information and find links of things that we talked about. I’ll put the link to purchase the book in the show notes for this episode, and so you can go there and click on that link. If you want to buy the book, you can also at work mom says dot com Fill out my contact form and get in touch with me.

00:17:30:07 – 00:17:50:05
Lori Jo Vest
If you have a question. If you have a subject you’d like me to address, if you have a guest that you think would be fantastic, send them my way. Lori at work, Mom says, or through the contact form at the work mom says dot com website. So again thank you so much for being here. I really appreciate all of my listeners.

00:17:50:18 – 00:17:58:18
Lori Jo Vest
Hope I’m providing you helpful information that will help you play the emotional content sport of business. Thank you and take care.

00:17:59:13 – 00:18:01:03
VO
Thanks for listening to Work Mom says don’t be an idiot.

00:18:03:27 – 00:18:15:09
VO
For more information, you can email work mom at l0ri work mom, says dot com. That’s Lori at work. Mom says dot com. And remember.

00:18:15:09 – 00:18:18:04
Lori Jo Vest
Don’t be an idiot.

Who is our ideal listener?

This podcast is for young professionals, so they can learn to play the emotional context sport of business and experience less drama and more success.

The ideal listener is anyone struggling on an emotional level in the workplace. Work Mom Says it helps you learn to be strategic at work. This means you can look at the big picture without getting lost in the weeds. How can you be more logical and less emotional? Be strategic, and Work Mom Says can help you.

“I tell people to back up, put down the magnifying glass, and look at the big picture when you’re responding to something,” said Lori Jo Vest, Work Mom. “In doing this, you will understand that what’s really upsetting you right now will be something you don’t even remember next week.”

 

What value can people get from listening to this podcast?

Listening to Work Mom Says can help you grow your mood management skills, grow your ability to reframe situations, and look at things from a strategic point of view. This makes it easier to go into a work situation and get the most positive results.

On Work Mom Says, we also offer tips and tricks for creating connected positive relationships that last over time. People will want you on the team if you can create connected positive relationships and work environments. You become an asset, and you will be more successful when you’re an asset.

“I also like to talk about developing traits like optimism, persistence, tenacity, stick-to-itiveness, sticking with things, and approaching every project with a curious mind instead of a fearful mind,” said Lori Jo Vest, Work Mom

                                                                                                     

Why do I do this? A few more words from Work Mom

I do this because I naturally fell into the Work Mom role when I worked in the ad agency business and had so much fun with it. I also realized I had made just about every mistake there was to make. I don’t hold myself as a stellar example of truth and how you should be. I hold myself out there as someone who has been bruised, battered, and beaten up and learned some important lessons. I’d love to share these lessons with young people, so they don’t have to make those same mistakes or be the idiot I was.

I also want to help young professionals realize that many things our culture prioritizes aren’t really important. We talk a lot about what should be important and how to present your best face at the office so that you can succeed.

I’ve learned so much throughout my career, and it’s gratifying to share that with young professionals and help them avoid some of those mistakes and get to that success sooner.

Episode 26 – “The Origin of Work Mom Says (Plus a Sneak Peek at My Upcoming Book)” appeared first on Work Mom Says.