Themes discussed in this episode

• The risk of staying quiet: why silence rarely serves you or your team
• Overcoming the fear of speaking up and the myth of perfection
• The power of showing up, voicing your thoughts, and being present
• Language you can use to share controversial or dissenting opinions constructively
• How speaking up can lead to growth, leadership, and new opportunities

Episode Highlights

Time-stamped inflection points from the show

00:12 – Introduction to speaking up, even when it’s uncomfortable, and why it matters for your success.

01:04 – How quieter, smarter voices often stay silent while less qualified ones get ahead.

02:19 – Lori shares a real-world example of voicing dissent to a CEO and the mixed results.

05:33 – Learning to share your viewpoint: “It’s about showing up and contributing.”

06:54 – Tips for constructive language when you need to disagree or add a new angle.

09:21 – How speaking up gets easier with practice—and why good leaders want your input.

11:06 – Action step: raise your hand and try speaking up at your next meeting.

Top Quotes

01:50 – “Your silence doesn’t serve you and it doesn’t serve your team.”

05:39 – “If you really know and have an opinion on something you really need to share, share it.”

06:29 – “It’s not about having the perfect answer. It’s about showing up.”

11:29 – “Get used to being uncomfortable, because that’s where the gold is.”

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Transcript

00:12
Hello, I’m Lori Jo Vest. Welcome to this episode of Work Mom Says, Don’t Be an Idiot. I am here to help you play the emotional contact sport of business in a way that lets you experience a lot less drama and a whole lot more success.

So today, we’re going to talk about something that can totally shift your career. You may not realize it, but if you’re not speaking up, you’re missing out. Even if you’re 100% comfortable kind of sitting in the background and not wanting to say anything, and that works for you, it’s not going to work for your career. You need to speak up, be present, share your wisdom—even when you’re not totally comfortable doing so. It’s something that you’ll want to learn to get comfortable doing, and the only way to get comfortable is to practice.

01:04
So why this matters: one of the biggest things that you’ll run into at the office is people who have egos that are much bigger than their talent, and those people love to speak up. But the reality is people who don’t have those egos may have an even more important voice in the room. Too many really smart people stay quiet out of fear, afraid of people thinking that they’re dumb, afraid of making a fool of themselves, afraid of being wrong. And less qualified people that know a lot less than you do are out there just talking up a storm, getting all kinds of things and making bank because they are not quiet.

Your silence doesn’t serve you and it doesn’t serve your team. It doesn’t serve your boss. Your employer wants your thoughts. They want to know what you think, because they hired you based on your talent and your skills, so even when you’re not sure.

And so let’s talk about what happens when you’re in a room and they ask a question and you don’t really want to speak up, even though you have an impression or an opinion that matters.

02:19
I’ll give you an example. Sometimes it will backfire on you. I used to work for a company that had a huge campus, I mean, maybe seven acres with three great big buildings on it, and probably about 200 employees. And it was just this beautiful campus, wooded, you know, just lots of wildlife and, you know, grass and weeds and stuff like that.

And we had a weekly management meeting, this entire team for this company. And every Wednesday morning, at 10 o’clock, we’d all gather in the conference room in the corporate building and go through whatever the CEO wanted to go through and talk about right there was a time when the company wasn’t doing very well financially. We were doing layoffs. It’s very, very difficult. And the owner, the CEO, had this idea that we should invite our employees, the ones that were left that hadn’t been laid off, to come in on the weekend, Saturday, and we’d feed them pizza, and they could help do the landscaping for the company. He thought it was a great idea. I didn’t think so, and neither did anybody else in that meeting.

There were 10 or 12 of us, and people had been talking in the hallway. Did you hear what John thinks we should do about the landscaping? And you know, because the landscaping was really expensive on a big property like that, and he honestly thought that the employees would feel like, you know, the volunteer to clean the highway, that it would be a really pride-inducing exercise, and everybody would love it, while the leadership team, with the exception of the CEO, knew that it would actually be demotivating, that nobody wants to come in on the weekend that they had watched people get laid off and having your coworkers laid off, and then being told the company can’t afford to have the landscaping done and wants you to come in on your day off for pizza and do the landscaping. It was a really bad idea.

We’re not sure who he got it from, where it came from. Maybe he drove by a highway cleanup sign. I mean, that could be that simple. In the meeting, I was the only one who stood up. He went through the whole plan, said, This is, I think this is a great idea. What do you guys think? And there was silence, and I said, you know, John, I just can’t not speak up. I have to tell you, I think it’s a really bad idea, and I think it’s going to hurt the morale of the company, and I would kind of consider doing something else instead.

And what happened next was something I’ll never forget. I got dressed down. I had no pride in the company. I didn’t understand our employees. I mean, all kinds of things were thrown at me. He was very angry, for one thing that I questioned him, and for another thing that I seem to be the only one in the room that thought it wasn’t a good idea. The reality was no one else in the room thought it was a good idea. They just weren’t brave enough to stand up and say anything, and I was, but there were days that I thought maybe I shouldn’t have.

5:33
So what the lesson is there is, don’t stay quiet out of fear if you really know and have an opinion on something that you really need to share. Share it. There may be some repercussions, there may be some fallout, but that’s okay, because I honestly felt like if I hadn’t voiced the concern that we all had, it would be unfair to the boss, the CEO, and unfair to our people, so I did it. And you know, it wasn’t the best experience to have. It was very uncomfortable, but I still feel like I did the right thing.

And you may not ever have to give that type of feedback to the CEO of the company you work for, and you may choose not to, but when you are in a room and people are asking you for your impression or your opinion, it’s not about having the perfect answer. It’s about showing up. It’s about thinking through possible answers to a question or concern and contributing, being a part of the conversation—that is really, really important in the workplace. When people hire you, they hire you because you have a talent, a skill and ability, and they want you. 100%, they want you to show up.

6:54
So in those kinds of situations, it can help to have some sample language that you can use to bring up that controversial thought. I’m going to drop a couple of these in here, just because they’re really helpful, and I found them helpful over the years. So here’s a thought that might be helpful or, this might not be a fully formed idea, but what if, right, or another one—can I ask this question from a different angle? Are we considering the perspective of this group? Should we solicit other opinions before we make the final decision? So what you want to do in those situations, rather than just, you know, express a hard and fast, conflicting answer that contradicts the answer they might be looking for, soften it a little bit. What if we thought about this? Or have you considered that? You can bring it up as a question, and that sometimes will help guide the conversation in the direction that you feel comfortable that it should go, because there are times when you know even a CEO has an idea that’s not a good one.

And if you’re on the leadership team, or even if you’re in a team meeting, and your boss, who’s not the CEO, is considering doing something that you think would be destructive, express it. It’s important, and it makes a difference. I have actually been the kind of person that continually speaks up. And there are times when you will regret it, absolutely, and there are times that that will lead you to a leadership position in your company, because people will know that you’re actually considering things from all angles. You’re not just, you know, a yes person, because a good leader doesn’t really want a yes person on their team. They want someone who will be, you know, more expressive and provide a new and different perspective.

So consider that the people that you’re talking to in your meetings rarely expect perfection, or—especially if you’re in your 20s and 30s—they don’t expect you to know everything, but they really respect initiative and perspective that you can bring. So remember that when you’re feeling less than confident expressing your thoughts and opinions in a meeting.

09:21
So let’s go over this really quickly before we wrap up. What should you be doing when you’re in a meeting and things start, you know, people start asking opinions and it’s your turn to talk? Speaking gets easier with practice. Speaking up in situations like that—the more you do it, even when it’s uncomfortable, the more comfortable you’ll get. And the more you do it, the more comfortable you’ll also get maybe expressing the thought you had that’s a little controversial in a way that can be heard. Those controversial, you know, those controversial opinions are important to good leaders.

So, don’t let that get in your way. If you have a leader that will not listen and that never wants to hear what you have to say, maybe time to shuffle off to a new position, because a good leader will appreciate input from the team. So that’s just a basic management tenant. So even if your perspective is different than other people’s, it still has value.

And the other side of the coin is, if you’re in a meeting where people are asking for opinions, and you just sit there quietly, it can be interpreted as you’re either disengaged or you just don’t have any ideas, and you don’t want to be that person either—that just comes into the room, sits quietly and leaves—because they’ll stop inviting you, and that will affect your ability to rise through the ranks of that business and your ability to learn to become a more outspoken person in the workplace. Trust me, the people that are going up those ladders in different companies are not—they’re absolutely not—sitting in the corner quietly during that meeting when everybody’s talking.

11:06
So what I’d like you to do is take an action step after listening to this episode. The next time you are in a meeting and they’re asking for ideas, speak up. Ask a question, raise your hand. Try it and see what happens. If you’ve been shy and you’ve been quiet and a little introverted, get used to being uncomfortable, because that’s where the gold is. That’s where the learning is, and raise your hand.

So that’s what I’ve got for you today. Even when it’s uncomfortable, speak up. If you have a friend or family member or a teammate that should hear this lesson, please forward this podcast episode to them. I would love it. If you’re watching on YouTube, if you could subscribe to my channel, give me a like or a comment, and if you’d like to get in touch, I’m an open networker on LinkedIn, and I also have a website at workmomsays.com, where you can reach me and suggest a guest, suggest a topic, ask a question. I am here for you, so take care, everybody, and I’ll see you in a few weeks.

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Who is our ideal listener?

This podcast is for young professionals who want to learn to play the emotional context sport of business and experience less drama and more success.

How can you be more logical and less emotional? Be strategic, and Work Mom Says can help you.

“I tell people to back up, put down the magnifying glass, and look at the big picture when you’re responding to something,” said Lori Jo Vest, Work Mom. “In doing this, you will understand that what’s really upsetting you right now will be something you don’t even remember next week.”

What value can people get from listening to this podcast?

Listening to Work Mom Says can help you grow your mood management skills, grow your ability to reframe situations, and look at things from a strategic point of view. This makes it easier to go into a work situation and get the most positive results.

On Work Mom Says, we also offer tips and tricks for creating connected positive relationships that last over time. People will want you on the team if you can create connected positive relationships and work environments. You become an asset, and you will be more successful when you’re an asset.

“I also like to talk about developing traits like optimism, persistence, tenacity, stick-to-itiveness, sticking with things, and approaching every project with a curious mind instead of a fearful mind,” said Lori Jo Vest, Work Mom

                                                                                                     

Why do I do this? A few more words from Work Mom

I do this because I naturally fell into the Work Mom role when I worked in the ad agency business and had so much fun with it. I also realized I had made just about every mistake there was to make. I don’t hold myself as a stellar example of truth and how you should be. I hold myself out there as someone who has been bruised, battered, and beaten up and learned some important lessons. I’d love to share these lessons with young people, so they don’t have to make those same mistakes or be the idiot I was.

I also want to help young professionals realize that many things our culture prioritizes aren’t really important. We talk a lot about what should be important and how to present your best face at the office so that you can succeed.

I’ve learned so much throughout my career, and it’s gratifying to share that with young professionals and help them avoid some of those mistakes and get to that success sooner.