Themes discussed in this episode

• Observe, don’t absorb
• Personal experiences of being the calm in the storm and making yourself an asset
• Identifying anxiety-inducing work environments vs one-off stressful situations
• Immediately move into problem-solving mode

Episode Highlights

Timestamped inflection points from the show

02:30 – Observe, don’t absorb: Instead of internalizing the stress and negative emotions during a crazy work situation, take a step back and look at the bigger picture before you respond.
04:00 – Stressful workplace vs stressful situation: If you’re under constant stress and unable to function at work, it might be time to find a new job
06:00 – Personal story of keeping calm in chaos: Work Mom shares a crazy work story from her video production days when she stayed calm and solved a huge problem without a freakout.
08:30 – Mindset shift: If you can get into a problem-solving mindset, there’s no room for drama and chaos because you’re in action already.

Top Quotes

00:45 – “Staying calm under pressure when things are nuts is really important to both your productivity and your mental well-being.”
04:00 – “How important is it really that you respond right now? In most cases, you have at least a few minutes. Do you have enough time to step away and take a few deep breaths? It’s surprising how breathing techniques can help you feel calmer immediately.”
05:45 – It can be really difficult working for someone who is constantly chaotic and pushing fast and moving fast if that’s not who you are. And if that causes you a lot of anxiety, it may not be a good fit for you.
08:30 – Once you move into that problem-solving mode, you’re in action, and it’s a lot harder to be stressed out and freaking out if you are in action toward a solution.

---

Transcript

00:00
Hello, I’m Lori Jo Vest. Thank you so much for joining me for this episode of Work Mom Says. Today we are going to talk about keeping your calm when everyone around you is freaking out. It happens. Things go haywire sometimes. And you can’t let overwhelming or overwrought emotions get in the way of figuring out what happened and how to fix it or figuring out just how to get through the situation if it’s just going to be a difficult one. And that will happen as well.

So what I want to talk about is what have you ever felt? Get rid of that. Staying calm under pressure when things are nuts is really important to both your productivity and your mental well-being. Both of those things are really important to your success. And if you can practice staying calm and growing your emotional intelligence, you will have a skill that you can use for the rest of your life.

01:00
And I’ll give you an example. When someone comes at you, let’s say you’ve got an angry client or an angry coworker, and they’re full on coming at you loud, angry. What do you do? Give that a second of thought.

What do you do? Do you go into fight, flight, freeze? That’s naturally what our brains want us to do when we feel unsafe or attacked. We’ve got a little tiny part of our brain back here about the size of an almond called the amygdala. And it tells us, you know, it’s basically the center of our trauma response.

02:00
So when something happens, how do you react? And if you react with anger under stress, that’s not good. If you react with fear under stress, that’s not good either. Anxiety, not good. Flight, running away, or what they call freeze, where you just don’t confront it. None of those are good responses to stressful situations at work.

What is, is a strategic mindset. And I’ll explain that. There’s a couple of ways to look at it. But I’ll explain it in terms that I’ve been thinking of it in a lot lately. There’s a lot of crazy things happening in the world. And to not get pulled into it and end up with a much higher stress level, what I’ve been doing is practicing observe, don’t absorb. And that little mantra will take you really far. If you want to observe why that person’s yelling at you, give some thought to what they might be trying to accomplish by yelling at you. Pull back and just look at the big picture.

03:00
How important is it that you respond immediately? Do you have time to take a few minutes? I need to step away for a moment. I’ll be right back. I need ten minutes to manage something else. Can you take time to calm yourself? Absolutely.

In fact, in a lot of cases, it’s necessary if somebody’s, you know, coming at you, you know, which by that I mean, you know, blaming you for something, getting angry at you, acting really, you know, obnoxious about something. trying to push something through that might not be right for you. In those kinds of situations, it really pays to pull up and look at the situation with a long view.

04:00
How important is it really that you respond right now? In most cases, you have at least a few minutes. Do you have enough time to step away and take a few deep breaths? It’s surprising how breathing techniques can help you feel calmer immediately. You know, five or six really deep breaths can change how you feel.

If you’re under a lot of stress just on a daily basis, and let’s say you get the Sunday scaries every week, That kind of long-term stress might be something you could consider. Either are you in a job that is serving you or are you in a position that will always leave you feeling incredibly stressed and, you know, unable to function or unable to function at the level that you’d like to function at.

05:00
And if that’s the case, the answer might be find another job. Because in some situations, you know, there’s some high pressure, chaotic environments with perhaps, you know, bosses or CEOs who are just prone to creating a lot of tension. In those situations, that kind of that kind of stress happens. That’s not what I’m talking about.

In that case, you may want to find another gig or move into a position where you aren’t exposed to that person and their behavior. Because it can be really difficult working for someone who is constantly chaotic and pushing fast and moving fast if that’s not who you are. And if that causes you a lot of anxiety, it may not be a good fit for you.

06:00
Staying calm when things get crazy is really important. And I’ll tell you a story. I had gone to lunch one day. I worked for a video production facility and I came back to the office and noticed that the machine room, back when they had really expensive video machines, they kept them in what they called the machine room. And the machine room, the carpeting coming out of the, into the hallway, was wet. There was a dark spot.

I was like, what is happening? I snuck around the corner and looked into the room to see it wasn’t raining out. What’s going on? There was water running out of electrical outlets and down cords. Fortunately, the cords looped back up so the water was dripping off the end of the cord and not going into the machine, which it might have done.

07:00
I could have freaked out. For one thing, we had no idea what it was. Turns out the air conditioning unit was on the roof and had just a big problem with leaking. And there was a drain that was plugged that was on the roof and it was causing all kinds of problems.

And the first thing we did was solve it. Go into, you know, fix it mode, unplug everything in that room, unplug all the, you know, turn off the fuse that went to that room, pull all the cords out so that there was no more water dripping, you know, no more chance of the water dripping into the machines. And then get the HVAC people on the phone, get them out to fix it ASAP.

08:00
Go into all the rooms where the clients were, that they were working and explain that we were going to be down for at least the rest of the afternoon. And we would do whatever we could to make sure their projects got done on time. If that meant working extra hours over the next few days to make it up, that’s what we would do. But no time for a freakout because we had clients in the building and we had potential fire hazard, electrocution hazards.

What you’ll find is if you can get into a mindset when things are you know going haywire going sideways if you can get into the mindset of okay how do we solve this and go immediately from observing the problem to problem solving mode, there’s not really any room in the middle for a lot of drama and chaos. Once you move into that problem solving mode, you’re in action, and it’s a lot harder to be stressed out and freaking out if you are in action toward a solution.

09:00
So those are the suggestions I have for you today. One of the most important things you can do as an employee for a company is be that calm in the storm. You’ve got it in you. I know you do. It may take practice. but that’s okay. Sometimes we learn as we go.

So when you come upon a crazy stressful situation, think of work mom, take some deep breaths, step away, take a break. If it’s a constant problem, consider leaving the company, finding a less stressful boss or a less stressful job. And if it’s a problem and a crazy thing that’s sprung up out of nowhere, immediately go into “observe, not absorb,” mode and solve the problem. Those are the things that are going to help you get through when things go crazy at the office.

10:00
So that’s what I’ve got for you today. Again, I have a website at WorkMomSays.com where I share all of my podcast episodes as well as show notes and things like that. The Work Mom Says podcast is on all of the standard podcast platforms. And if you are watching this on YouTube, do me a favor, hit that subscribe button. Give me a like, give me a comment. Would love to hear from you.

And I do have an open networking policy on LinkedIn. So if you are interested in suggesting a guest for the podcast or a topic you’d like me to discuss, I’m happy to do that. And of course, check out my book on Amazon: Work Mom Says, Don’t Be An Idiot. Thirty-Eight Lessons. You Don’t Want To Learn The Hard Way. Look it up on Amazon. It’s got a lot of great, helpful information to help you play the emotional contact sport of business so you can experience less drama and more success. I’ll see you again soon.

---

Who is our ideal listener?

This podcast is for young professionals who want to learn to play the emotional context sport of business and experience less drama and more success.

How can you be more logical and less emotional? Be strategic, and Work Mom Says can help you.

“I tell people to back up, put down the magnifying glass, and look at the big picture when you’re responding to something,” said Lori Jo Vest, Work Mom. “In doing this, you will understand that what’s really upsetting you right now will be something you don’t even remember next week.”

What value can people get from listening to this podcast?

Listening to Work Mom Says can help you grow your mood management skills, grow your ability to reframe situations, and look at things from a strategic point of view. This makes it easier to go into a work situation and get the most positive results.

On Work Mom Says, we also offer tips and tricks for creating connected positive relationships that last over time. People will want you on the team if you can create connected positive relationships and work environments. You become an asset, and you will be more successful when you’re an asset.

“I also like to talk about developing traits like optimism, persistence, tenacity, stick-to-itiveness, sticking with things, and approaching every project with a curious mind instead of a fearful mind,” said Lori Jo Vest, Work Mom

                                                                                                     

Why do I do this? A few more words from Work Mom

I do this because I naturally fell into the Work Mom role when I worked in the ad agency business and had so much fun with it. I also realized I had made just about every mistake there was to make. I don’t hold myself as a stellar example of truth and how you should be. I hold myself out there as someone who has been bruised, battered, and beaten up and learned some important lessons. I’d love to share these lessons with young people, so they don’t have to make those same mistakes or be the idiot I was.

I also want to help young professionals realize that many things our culture prioritizes aren’t really important. We talk a lot about what should be important and how to present your best face at the office so that you can succeed.

I’ve learned so much throughout my career, and it’s gratifying to share that with young professionals and help them avoid some of those mistakes and get to that success sooner.