Themes discussed in this episode

• Workplace politics involve unspoken dynamics, power structures, and power struggles
• Being strategic and intentional with your language, actions, and decisions is essential
• Build alliances with power players in the workplace
• Handle conflicts successfully to avoid burning bridges
• Collaborative conflict resolution–finding solutions together–is most effective
• Be authentic while also being strategic by bringing your best self to work

Episode Highlights

Timestamped inflection points from the show

00:28 – You must make connected, positive relationships a priority in the workplace
02:42 – Be mindful of joining an organization where the leadership team has romantic relationships. It may indicate a toxic business culture.
04:03 – When you go into a new company, find the power players and align with them by creating strategic relationships with them.
06:10 – When emotions rise, step back so you can come back when you’re calm and manage the situation strategically.

Links

Transcript

Hello. I’m Lori Jo Vest, also known as Work Mom, and I am here to talk to you today about workplace politics. There’s so much they don’t tell us when we start a new job or a new career, and politics is important. There’s a lot to be said for your relationships at the office, and those relationships will either serve you or hold you back.

One of the things that I will say right up front is that it’s critical that you make connected, positive relationships a priority in the workplace. Anybody that you work with, even if you socialize with them as well, the positivity of that relationship, the level of connection that person feels with you, how well they feel they know you, how authentic you are. Can they trust you?

Those factors are really critical to being successful in your job and in your career. So politics. What is it in the workplace? What does that even mean? It means basically the unspoken dynamics. Whenever you have a group of people working together, there will be a power structure. There will be power struggles. There will be people who truly believe that they know more than others. There are people who truly may know more than others who don’t think they know that much. There will be people with big egos who want to come in and take over because they know their way is the right way. There will be people who will be sideways with how they get things done and how they get their way. It’s really interesting.

One of the most critical things you can do at the beginning of your career, throughout your career, and especially at the beginning of any new job, is to be very strategic in how you think and be intentional in what you do.
So when you get into a situation in a meeting where it seems like you may be going in a direction that you know is not going to serve the client or the company or your job, do you say something, or don’t you? That depends on the strategic answer.

Sometimes, in a meeting like that, you would say, “Hey, you know what, guys? I have a devil’s advocate perspective. I’d love to share,” and share your perspective. But there are other times when maybe you know that the people in charge don’t want to hear it, and it’s just going to backfire on you when you may choose not to do that.
The power dynamics in a workplace are really important. One of the things that I would advise you to look for while you’re getting a job or considering a new job or a new company is look at the relationships among the leadership team.

Often in smaller organizations, you will see maybe not often, but sometimes you’ll see bosses that are in relationships, romantic relationships, with members of their team, never a good idea, never a good situation. In most cases, there’s a power dynamic there that has led to boundaries being broken.

A boss should never have an affair with someone who works for them. If you know of that happening at your company, probably a really good indicator that the politics there are toxic, that people who show well, like, you know, the show ponies, or what one of my friends used to call the High School Musical cast, um, those people may be in control because they show well, while the people who do really good work but don’t have those connections to the power players may be shoved to the side and may not get the career kudos or The the promotions and accolades that they should get.

So when you enter a new company, look into who those players are and get to know your coworkers. Hold some things back. If there are things that may make you controversial at the beginning of an employment engagement, you may just hold on to those things a little bit and be strategic and intentional in everything you say and do. Build some allies.

One of the things that’s really, really helpful is to have people on the team that you’re close to that you maybe every morning, you come in at the same time and you get your coffee and or you’re, you know, the first ones on the Zoom meeting. So you have a little bit of conversation and get to know each other a little bit. You can also have lunch outside of the office or coffee outside of the office to get to know people who can help you. Don’t go for the sad sex in that situation. Don’t build your ally ships and relationships with people who are not performing well or are known to be difficult. Make your allies among the power players. So really look at ways that you can build relationships with those people that you can tell people look up to because you want to be among that crowd. You want to be seen as one of those people.

And other things that come up in workplace situations that would be considered political would be how you handle conflicts. Conflicts at the workplace are so challenging sometimes because someone can push your buttons, trigger all your trauma, and you have no idea how they did it.

They just came in; they reminded you of your nasty stepmother, or maybe a friend of yours, that the relationship went sour. You know, those kinds of people. You’ll see them at work, and they will cause conflict, and they will, you know, bring disagreement. How you handle those conflicts, and disagreements, and the things that they do that might not be pleasant or expected will determine your success in that workplace. You never want to burn a bridge.
So, in any conversation where you feel the emotions rising, you can’t play politics. When emotion goes up, logic goes down; playing office politics, which is a necessity in any workplace, is absolutely necessary. Playing politics by being negative never works. Going through a conflict and letting somebody have it and burning that bridge never works if you don’t have conflict resolution skills. There are books you can read, there are counselors you can go to, there are mentors that will help you with that you want to be sure that in a conflict situation at work, you can manage your emotions to the point where you can look at what the person’s trying to get from the conversation, instead of taking what they’re saying or doing personally.

And you know, I’ll give you an example. I had a co-worker that was just really quiet. And I thought, after, you know, three or four weeks sitting next to each other, she never talked to me. And I thought, maybe she just doesn’t like me. And there are 65 things you can do when you feel like someone doesn’t like you. You can gossip about it to somebody else. Do you know her to show that I don’t think she likes me? You can keep that thought in your head and say, “Oh man, she really doesn’t like me. I better be careful.”

Or you can get curious. In conflict situations, getting curious is the best thing you can do if someone asks you to do something that maybe there’s a deadline that you know you can’t meet.

Instead of getting angry and causing something ugly in that conflict, stop for a minute and think; get curious. Are there any other solutions out there that I can suggest besides doing exactly what this person wants, which I know is impossible, but they don’t want to hear no.

When someone comes to you with work on a tight deadline, they often do not want to hear no. So, just by saying, oh, gosh, not sure if I can do that. You’re causing a conflict. So when I say conflict, think of it that way. It’s not like people raging at each other. It’s more like just the little things that happen that can get people upset over the course of a business day. So, never burn a bridge during those conflict situations. Always look at the problem from the same side as your coworker or your client. So it’s not the two of you arguing with each other and going against each other; it’s the two of you looking at the problem and going, huh, together. How can we solve this? That is a sure way to resolve and negotiate conflict in a way that helps everybody see all the different facets and come to a collaborative decision. It really, really works. It’s not a conflict between the two of you. It’s a conflict between the two of you and the problem.

So keep that one in mind. There are times when you don’t want to play the game, even though office politics can feel like a great big game; you know that you have to make the right decisions and, you know, be strategic and move the right way and say the right thing to be successful.

There are times when you will not want to go along, and in most cases, that’s if somebody’s asking you to do something illegal, they’re asking you to do something immoral, or they’re asking you to, you know, to tell an untruth, to lie, cheat, steal, any of those kinds of things. If that is part of the culture of the office where you are playing those political games, get out. So keep your head down and start looking for that next job, because in some of those types of situations, you may think if you play along, it’ll be okay, but you could also become the target, people can target you and say you caused that problem, even if you were just going along and it was never your idea to do any of the illegal, immoral, untruthful things.

So it’s always best to stay away from those situations. Find yourself another job if that’s what’s happening. And finally, one of the things that people talk about a lot is being authentic in the office, which means that you should bring your full self to work. And I 100% agree that being authentic has so much value when you are showing your true personality and being you know your true self and expressing your honesty, your honest thoughts, you know who you are as a human being, people will be more likely to trust you, and that’s really important in business relationships.

However, don’t just bring yourself; bring your best self. So if there are things that you might do in talking to your sister or your husband that are a little snarky or a little sarcastic, that might be a side of your authenticity that you don’t want to bring to the office.

Dry humor is great. Sarcasm, anything that could be construed as being hurtful, not so great. So when people tell you to be yourself, be yourself, but be your most strategic, best self, and that’s really the best place to start if you’re playing office politics. So that’s all I’ve got for you today. Thank you so much for listening, and I will be back soon with a guest or two and some more career tidbits to help you climb the corporate ladder and play the emotional contact sport of business.

If you watch this on YouTube, please hit that subscribe button for me. Give me a like, give me a comment. I am an open networker on LinkedIn, I’d love to hear from you there.

I am an open networker on LinkedIn. I’d love to hear from you there. I also have a website at work. Mom says.com, you can contact me there if you’d like to suggest a guest or you have a question or a topic you’d like me to cover, looking forward to connecting with you, and I will be back soon with some great advice and information. Take care.

What value can people get from listening to this podcast?

Listening to Work Mom Says can help you grow your mood management skills, grow your ability to reframe situations, and look at things from a strategic point of view. This makes it easier to go into a work situation and get the most positive results.

On Work Mom Says, we also offer tips and tricks for creating connected positive relationships that last over time. People will want you on the team if you can create connected positive relationships and work environments. You become an asset, and you will be more successful when you’re an asset.

“I also like to talk about developing traits like optimism, persistence, tenacity, stick-to-itiveness, sticking with things, and approaching every project with a curious mind instead of a fearful mind,” said Lori Jo Vest, Work Mom

                                                                                                     

Why do I do this? A few more words from Work Mom

I do this because I naturally fell into the Work Mom role when I worked in the ad agency business and had so much fun with it. I also realized I had made just about every mistake there was to make. I don’t hold myself as a stellar example of truth and how you should be. I hold myself out there as someone who has been bruised, battered, and beaten up and learned some important lessons. I’d love to share these lessons with young people, so they don’t have to make those same mistakes or be the idiot I was.

I also want to help young professionals realize that many things our culture prioritizes aren’t really important. We talk a lot about what should be important and how to present your best face at the office so that you can succeed.

I’ve learned so much throughout my career, and it’s gratifying to share that with young professionals and help them avoid some of those mistakes and get to that success sooner.

Episode 26 – “The Origin of Work Mom Says (Plus a Sneak Peek at My Upcoming Book)” appeared first on Work Mom Says.