Themes discussed in this episode

• What is mental toughness
• Jacqueline Laurencelle’s mental toughness journey
• Benefits of mental toughness
• Discipline vs Motivation
• Tools for building mental toughness
• Rather than wallowing, ask yourself what lesson you can learn

Featured Guest

Expert Guest: Jacqueline Laurencelle

What She Does: Jacqueline is a classically French-trained Chef, social media influencer, and healthy cooking coach. She’s on a mission to make healthy cooking accessible, fun, sexy, and delicious through her wellness brand and her TV show, Jacqueline Cooks!

Connect: You can find her on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and her website.

Episode Highlights

Timestamped inflection points from the show

2:00 – Start of her journey: While walking down the stairs during a fire evacuation, Jacqueline experienced so much pain that she wasn’t sure she could get to the bottom. This prompted her to start working out for her health, which kickstarted her journey.
7:00 – What is mental toughness: It is choosing to do difficult things to increase your capacity for resilience
11:00 – Benefits of mental toughness: It will help you tolerate failure, reduce your anxiety, and fear, and help you embrace and overcome obstacles.
16:00 – Motivation vs discipline: Discipline is more important than motivation because with discipline, you will just go do it. If you’re waiting to get motivated, you’ll wait forever.
20:30 – Tools for building mental toughness: Build habits and a morning routine that you will commit to and can do every day. Whether it’s doing the morning pages, affirmations, gratitude journaling, or starting your day with a workout, find what works for you and stick to it.
32:00 – Lessons: Instead of wallowing when something negative happens, mental toughness helps you swap your mindset to “what can we learn from this experience?”

Top Quotes

8:10 – Mental toughness is choosing to do things that are difficult, that are good for you, in order to expand your capacity for resilience.
11:00 – It’s cyclical. The more mental toughness you get, the more tenacious you’ll get. The more you tolerate failure, the more mentally tough you get. The more mentally tough you get, the more you can tolerate failure.
11:50 – I can promise you that the more mentally tough you get, the less anxiety and fear you will have. It won’t just help you push past it. It will help it decrease in your life.
16:35 – If you respect yourself, that’s what self-love is. And doing things that are good for you is what brings those things about.
17:00 – Your current situation is exactly what you’re committed to because you’re doing everything that supports your current situation.
20:40 – So I started super beginner so I wouldn’t get sore and ease into it. And then I just started to feel better because more endorphins were happening. So humbling myself a little bit, and really starting at the beginning was a crucial tool.
22:30 – I also made a decision to let go of being a victim…Like I got this one life to live and what am I going to do with it? I got to go out and do something. I can’t just sit here and exist anymore. I can’t do it.
24:00 – I’ve decided that in order to build a strong habit, I’m going to have to push really hard at first and do it every day so that it feels weird not to do it.
29:30 – You can act yourself into a better way of thinking, and think yourself into a better way of acting. So if you’re in doubt, take action.
30:45 – Choose your hard.
32:00 – Mental toughness is also about learning to see life from the perspective of what are the lessons I’m learning that will help me be a better person?
34:00 – Recognize that wallowing in the past or worrying about the future is where all the pain is. The present is the only thing you have any control over anyway.

Resources mentioned in this episode

Transcript

0:00

Hello, everybody. I’m Lori Jo Vest. I so appreciate you joining us for this episode of Work Mom Says, Don’t Be an Idiot. Today, we are talking to one of my dear friends, Jacqueline Laurencelle on the subject of mental toughness. 

Jacqueline is what I would call: she’s exploding onto the scene as a social media influencer and healthy cooking coach. She’s working on a television series. She’s got all kinds of wonderful things going on and a fabulous transformation story that has her talking about mental toughness, which I know is important in the business world. 

If you cannot buck up and handle what’s happening in a way that’s non-emotional, if you can’t get your stuff done because you can’t hold yourself together to do it, you will not be successful. It will impact your success. So this is a really important subject and one of my favorites. So Jacqueline, welcome to the show. Tell us a little about yourself.

1:00 Jacqueline –  Hi, Lori. Thank you so much for having me. Hello, everyone. As she said, my name is Jacqueline Laurencelle. I hail from the Detroit area of Michigan. I grew up outside of Detroit, and I now live in Chicago. I am a classically French-trained chef, which was actually a second career for me. I originally worked in social work and pastoral ministry and then decided that I wanted to do something a little more creative. 

And so the work that I’m getting ready to do now with the show that you mentioned and my social media and health and wellness transformation coaching will bring all of those things together in my life. So I’m very excited about all of the things that the future holds. 

2:00 Lori – Oh, it’s been an amazing thing to watch over the last three or four months as this has been coming together and You’re on TikTok and Instagram and all the different channels. So tell us why you are on this journey. When and how did it start? 

Jacqueline – Sure. It was the day before my 52nd birthday, which was about 14 months ago now. And there was a fire in the condo building that I lived in. And when we were evacuated, I had to walk down 20 flights of stairs with two dogs and a backpack. and I have to be honest I was pretty uh confident overly confident like oh I can do this because I had also packed a suitcase and I thought well I’ll take the dogs first and drop off the backpack which had all the valuables and the passports and the cash and all that kind of stuff I’ll drop that off and then I’ll go back up and get my suitcase. 

3:00 Yeah. About five floors into going down the stairs, I was in a lot of pain. I was hurting. I couldn’t breathe. I was a mess. And I was like thinking to myself, I just want to get down. I don’t even know if I’m able to get down these stairs. Like what am I going to do? I have to get down. And because there’s no one coming to get me, right? There’s no elevator. There’s no option. The only way I’m getting out is to walk down these stairs. 

So I got to the bottom barely and I was in so much pain and I could barely walk. And I was about 100 pounds overweight. And I just something happened inside me that day of like something has to change. I’m not getting any younger. I can’t keep going on like this. It was like for the first time it really became not about vanity anymore and just about like I have to be able to function in my life. 

And so that kind of started, that was a little spark or the catalyst or that thing that happens in your life, an event that happens that you say to yourself, okay, something needs to be different. I need to do things differently. 

4:00 Lori: So that’s really the story of how it got started. Right. And how’s it going? 

Jacqueline: Yeah. Well, I was going to say within, it took a couple of weeks for me to kind of pull everything together. And I just started and I promised myself I was going to start working out. And I said, even if I never lose a pound, I have to start working out for my health, for my aging, you know, muscle mass, all of that. So it has now been 14 months and I’m down 85 pounds. 

Lori: Awesome. That’s amazing. That’s tough. That is tough. 

Jacqueline: It is, but for the first time in my life, it’s not as hard as it used to be. And I think a lot of it comes to the topic of what we’re talking about today, which is the fact that throughout this process, I have been building mental toughness. So I have to say it is easier than it was when I started. And now that I see it as a lifestyle and I see it as there is no end game. 

5:00 People keep asking me like, what’s my goal weight? I don’t have one. I don’t know what that is. And I don’t care what the number on the scale says. I care that when I get to whatever that goal is, a weight goal, it’ll be the next goal, right? What’s my flexibility? Can I do a handstand? Can I, whatever, whatever it’s going to be, you know, that I realized it’s just, it’s not about going on or off a diet. It really is about figuring out how to make this my life so that I can live a better life. And mental toughness was a huge part of it. 

Lori: I think mental toughness, tell me if I’m wrong, but a lot of times when you’re starting a great big transformation journey like that, a lot of us want to do that. But to start part of that mental toughness is in the support you put around yourself, right? 

Jacqueline: You know, it’s interesting. I don’t really feel like I had a lot of support. Yeah. And I didn’t. And I’m one of those people, because I had gained and lost weight so many times. And let’s be honest, weight is a very public, visual issue. 

6:00 So you can’t hide it. And I had gained and lost weight, lost and gained weight back so many times. I wasn’t going to tell anybody because I, I didn’t, I didn’t want to go through the humiliation again of, and also I’m a little superstitious of like, okay, don’t want to jinx it. 

Lori: Love that. Love that. I’m the same way. 

Jacqueline: Yeah. So I was like, I’m just going to do my thing. So I started and I lost about 20 pounds on my own. And then I found a program and I have a code, you know, I have an online coach and there’s weekly zoom calls and, And there’s a big group of ladies and we support each other. So I did get support from them once I would say I got started. 

But in my regular life, I just kind of decided to just keep it quiet and not really talk about it because I feel like I wanted to because I realized it wasn’t really about that. It was just about me trying to figure it out for myself. But that’s what I would say where. um yes the group of women that I ended up being supported by definitely helped to promote me and motivate me.

7:00 But I i do think mental toughness though in many ways is a solo journey you have to put the work in daily for yourself and no one can do it for you and no matter how many great quotes you get and I believe me I am following all of them on instagram and get 50 of them a day and they’re great And that’s wonderful for a second. It makes you feel good. But you still got to put in the work every day to get mentally stronger. 

Lori: Absolutely. So let’s talk about what is mental toughness. Now, I think of it as, you know, I looked it up and I tried to find like, what is it? And there’s a lot of different facets to it. What first came up was the word grit. which I think is kind of cool. But how do you define it? 

Jacqueline: I define mental toughness as… Okay, so… I was having this conversation with someone about resilience versus mental toughness and are they the same thing? And I said, I think resilience is your ability to handle when something in life unexpected happens to you. How resilient you are is your ability to get through it, handle it.

8:00 But mental toughness for me is choosing to do things that are difficult in order to expand your capacity for resilience. So let me say that again. 

Lori: Okay, say it again. 

Jacqueline: Mental toughness is choosing to do things that are difficult, that are good for you, in order to expand your capacity for resilience. 

Lori: Okay. I like that a lot. I like that a lot. 

Jacqueline: So that’s why, you know, people laugh at me, but I do cold plunges. That’s why I get up at four o’clock in the morning that I did not used to do. And I do my books every day. I don’t want to get up at four o’clock in the morning. Who wants to get up at four o’clock in the morning? Especially when it’s zero out. I live in Chicago. Nobody. 

9:00 But here’s the thing. By doing that every day, because then, because with that time, I’m investing in me. I’m doing meditation. I’m reading things that are expanding my mind and challenging me to grow and doing journaling. And then I go and do my workouts. I don’t want to do my workout every morning at 5 or 5.30. Nope. Not interested. But that’s how you gain mental toughness.

And that expands your capacity resilience so that when life punches you in the face, because it will, it’s going to punch everybody in the face. Just a little side note, anybody who believes that life is fair, you were lied to. Whoever told you that, lied. Lied, lied, lied. Life is not fair. It’s not designed to be fair. And we shouldn’t even be trying to make it fair. It’s just not how it works. It’s how we are resilient or mentally tough enough to gain a larger capacity for resilience, be able to handle it and move forward. So that’s what I would say my definition of mental toughness is. 

10:00 Lori: I love it. I love it. A couple other things that came up in looking up the definition was the ability to persevere despite obstacles, which means if you get up and you have a little cold, you still work out. 

Jacqueline: I would say embrace your obstacles. Yeah. I would say the more mentally tough you are, the more you will embrace obstacles and actually not see, you’re not necessarily always going to seek them out, but you’re going to not be afraid of them or run away from them. 

Lori: Exactly. Like I think of myself, I broke my ankle about three years ago, getting the mail, went out to the mailbox, broke my ankle. And the first thing I asked the doctor after I got the boot is how soon can I ride the Peloton? Because I got myself a Peloton five years ago, and part of my happiness is getting on that bike. And I knew if I could push past it, I rode that thing with a boot. It was great. It was fine. I didn’t stand up, but I rode it with a boot. 

11:00 Being able to tolerate failure. Yep. Fear and anxiety, refusing to give in until you succeed, like continuing day after day toward your goal. All of those things require mental toughness, right? 

Jacqueline: They do. And it’s one of those things where it’s cyclical. Like the more mental toughness you get, the more tenacious you’ll get. The more you tolerate failure, the more mentally tough you get. The more mentally tough you get, the more you can tolerate failure. 

And the other thing about fear and anxiety, because we know that the younger generation really struggles with a lot of anxiety. And what I would say is the more mentally tough… Mental toughness is a choice. You choose… to make yourself mentally tougher. You choose to do hard things when you don’t want to. That is what will make you mentally tougher. 

And I can promise you that the more mentally tough you get, the less anxiety and fear you will have. It won’t just help you push past it. It will help it decrease in your life. 

12:00 Yeah. That’s huge. And I don’t think people are told that. I think they’re just trying to constantly manage anxiety and not realize you can actually lessen it. 

Lori: Absolutely. And honestly, this isn’t a therapy show. However, if you are suffering with a lot of fear and anxiety, there are therapists out there that can really help you. There’s a lot to be done. So if you suffer it and you can’t get past it with mental toughness, know that sometimes you’ll need a little help. 

Cognitive-based therapy, talk therapy, some of that kind of thing is really important and will help you push through those kind of things that are brought on by either trauma, medical conditions, that kind of thing. your day-to-day fear and anxiety yeah push through it 

Jacqueline: Can I add to that though, with my social work background I would say that I would also add yes do not um avoid or uh therapy like I I’m a huge supporter of therapy but I would say it’s a both and not an either or. 

13:00 So you need to go to therapy and you need to go out and take a walk every day, even if it’s for 15 minutes, breathe some fresh air, take some deep breaths, get the sugar and processed food out of your diet. Like those things affect your hormones and your hormones are what affect your anxiety. It’s all together. It’s not one or the other, either or. And they’re not separate there. They really are connected. So do both. Do all the above.

Lori: I have I worked with a guy who had some severe anxiety and he went to a therapist who sent him to a psychiatrist who told him to stop drinking coffee. He stopped drinking coffee and the anxiety went away. So there’s things that you can do. And, you know, if it’s constant, get some help. 

Jacqueline: Yeah. It’s all of the above. 

Lori: Absolutely. Get help and keep doing those things that help you build that mental toughness. Exactly. 

14:00 So how do you build mental toughness? You’ve done this. You’ve gone from, you know, from, like you said, being a lot more… I was 236 pounds. A lot more difficult for you to do what you needed to do. So how did you build the mental toughness that took you to where you are today? 

Jacqueline: Well, I would say creating a routine and sticking to it. And the thing is, is keeping your word to yourself. We… people so often we talk about you know keep your word to other people right when you say you’re going to do something do it but it’s amazing particularly women how we just don’t think it’s worth it we don’t think we’re important enough to keep our word to ourselves and here’s the thing if you don’t keep your word to yourself that means ultimately you don’t respect yourself right.

 And so when you start to keep your word to yourself, which is, again, doing what you don’t want to do, but it’s good for you. It’s doing things you don’t want to do that are good for you and not doing things that are bad for you when you really want to do them. Even when they’re fun. The strength, my coach often says, the strength is in the restraint. It’s in the restraint. 

15:00 And so when there are things that you know you really shouldn’t be doing for yourself, like you don’t need that second piece of cake. Or maybe that day you don’t need a piece of cake at all because you had a piece of cake the day before. That’s the restraint. 

Or the idea of there’s freedom in the structure. He says that too. There’s freedom in structure. So creating structure for yourself. And I struggle with that because I am like a fly by the seat of her pants kind of girl. And structure has always felt very like suffocating. Yeah. But I realized by balancing having some structure, and it’s helped me accomplish a lot more. So that builds discipline and discipline. 

16:00 I just talked about this the other day in my stair chat about motivation versus discipline. And the truth is discipline is more important than motivation. Now if you’re waiting to get motivated, you’re gonna be waiting a real long time. You just have to go out and do it even when you don’t want to do it which is what discipline is and then that builds the mental toughness and then the motivation comes because then you start to see results. You start to feel better about yourself. You start to have some self-respect And you don’t want to give that up. 

Once you start to really feel that and feel, to me, self-love is really about self-respect. If you respect yourself, that’s what self-love is. And doing things that are good for you is what brings those things about. 

Lori: Yeah. I know we’re reading a book in our book club by Benjamin Hardy, and he talks about how your current situation is what you are committed to. Interesting. Your current situation is exactly what you’re committed to because you’re doing everything that supports your current situation. 

17:00 So if you’re committed to something else, well, then you need to give up some of your current habits and things to get to that space. And this applies in all kinds of things. It’s not just weight loss or healthy living. It can be getting that degree. Like maybe you’ve been out of college for five or six years and you really want to get your master’s. Start now. The most important thing you can do is start. 

Jacqueline: And I struggle with that. Like I have to have the perfect conditions or I’m like, I can’t do it. And then I’m like, nope, just start. And you’ll make start. And here’s the best part of them. The thing is, is that’s the fear of failure. We don’t start because we’re afraid to fail. And we have to remind ourselves the only way we learned how to walk is to fall down. That’s how we learned over and over again. 

But it was interesting you were saying that current situation because I always say to people, don’t tell me what your values are. Where you put your time, your energy, and your money is what you value. So if you really want to know what you value, spend some time reflecting on where do I spend my time, my energy, and my money, and then you’ll know what you value. Doesn’t matter what you say. 

18:00 Lori: So true. So let’s go back. Let’s jump around a little bit, but talk about the tools for mental toughness. One of the things that I do every day and I, and part of it is I’m kind of a chaotic, I’m kind of a chaotic ADHD kind of human. Okay. I’m in a lot of groups. I’m in a lot, but the one I joined during the pandemic, I think is the one that’s been the most life changing. 

And it was started by a woman, um, at the beginning. Like, I think it was like April or May of 2020 and people were struggling to get out of bed. Things were so chaotic and crazy. Exactly. Drinking wine. Um, And she started two accountability, what she calls accountability labs. And we meet, there was one at 6.30 and one at 7.07. The 6.31 has disbanded since people went back to the office. But those of us who stay are in the 7.07 group. We meet every single day. 

19:00 And we make a commitment personally, professionally, and a mindset. Monday through Friday. Monday through Friday. But every single Monday through Friday, 7.07. Bedhead. Runny mascara. Like what if you go on vacation? If you go on vacation, you might not go, but like my hair is always like all messed up and, and I’ve got the, you know, I, and I’m in my pajamas and it makes such a difference. 

I went from doing my little, I’m going to be a solopreneur on the sofa to now I have an office and I have, you know, five employees and, you know, we’re growing this agency. And I don’t know, I, as far as mental toughness, I, I talk about what I need to learn. And I really need the accountability from other people. 

Because for example, yesterday I said I would do my weight training workout on my morning call. About 8.30, I hadn’t done it yet. So trust me, I didn’t want to come this morning and say I didn’t. So I got my weights out and I did my workout at 8.30 and it was perfect. So there’s a lot of things that, tools that might work for you. So what tools worked for you? 

20:00 Jacqueline: Oh gosh. Well, I would say part of it that worked for me, which is going to sound odd, but when I started working out, I had been an athlete for a lot of my life. Okay. So when I started working out, I went to a beginner program for people who had never worked out before on purpose. 

One, because I didn’t want to get sore because I knew if I got real sore the first day, like I could do it all the first day. Great. And then I wouldn’t be able to walk for three days, which is what happened when I went down the stairs. And I was like, yeah, and I’ll quit. I know myself. Yeah. 

So I started super beginner so I wouldn’t get sore and ease into it. And then I just started to feel better because more endorphins were happening. So that humbling, I would say humbling myself a little bit. Like it. Really starting at the beginning started. That’s also mental toughness is humility is saying, okay, I’m not as, you know, I have some work to do on some things. Yeah.

21:00 I would also say. Like habits. I mean, my morning routine is now it’s a ritual. I call I don’t even call it a routine or it’s a morning ritual. I can’t start like that. I can’t start my day if I don’t spend some time quiet by myself with me and whatever your spirituality is. For me, it’s God. And I spend some time with God and I spend some time getting to a place of gratitude in the morning and doing affirmations and reading the daily stoic that I do. 

And those things have been crucial to my ability to be successful. And I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing now because 14 months ago, I had some dreams that someone had told me that I said, if someone had told me I would have left a bad relationship, lost 80 pounds and be doing my dream of starting a TV show, you know, doing it on TV. I would have told them they were absolutely had lost their minds, crazy people. And you must be smoking drugs because that’s never going to happen. 

22:00 I was 52. I had given up. I had given up and thought, I’m just, I’m done. So I’m sorry. No, it’s good though. Super stuck and wallowing in a lot of self-pity and victimhood. And that’s the thing. Mental toughness. 

I also made a decision to let go of being a victim. I was like, I’m done. I won lots of gold medals in the victimhood Olympics that I gave to myself. And I decided to turn them all back in and say, you know what? Like I got this one life to live and what am I going to do with it? Yeah. I got to go out and do something. I can’t just sit here and exist anymore. I can’t do it. 

Lori: Yeah. I love that. Love that.

Jacqueline: That helps in terms of things I did, but it’s practical things. I mean, it’s non-negotiable, and I started to keep my word to myself. And if that’s, you put it on a little calendar yourself and exit off on your fridge, you know, in our app that I am with the ladies, we check off our boxes of our, you know.

23:00 I’m going to tell you to turn off the news. Stop spending lots of time on news and doom scrolling and all of that. You know, those things are just not helpful. 

Lori: They’re not helpful at all. I found it’s really useful for me personally to make, like when I need to break a habit. And sugar has always been kind of an emotional, emotion management tool. Yeah. I mean, they say it’s like crack cocaine, right? 

Jacqueline: It releases the same dopamine that heroin and yeah. 

Lori: So at the beginning of April, I made a commitment to myself that I was going to do 90 days sugar-free. It’s almost the end of June. I broke my sugar fast on my birthday so I could have my pie and ice cream and I got right back on it and I’m still on it till the end of June. 

24:00 I kind of think by now it’s just a lifestyle, but a lot of times I’ll do that. Like I did it with the Peloton. I’ve done it with weight training where I’ve decided in order for me to build a strong habit, I’m going to have to push really hard at first, do it every day so that it feels weird not to do it. 

And then I have been weight training and on the Peloton for probably four years and weight training for about a year and a half. And I’ve been consistent and I’m seeing results, smaller pants, better energy overall. And that helps you succeed, right? 

Jacqueline: Yes. I mean, I, I can say for me, I decided to do sober October last. 

Lori: Oh, I love that. 

Jacqueline: And, um, I never considered alcohol something. I mean, I enjoy drinking and stuff, but I didn’t go through the COVID started drinking like crazy, gain a bunch of weight. That was not me. I just, not how I’ve ever been a drinker. And I’m not saying I haven’t drank too much at different times in my life. I’m just saying, I’ve never said I had too many one night, but I’m just saying I just wasn’t a big drinker that way.

25:00 But I gave it up in October and I haven’t drank. I’ve had, I had two drinks in November and I have not had a drink since. pretty much at all. So it’s been about eight and a half months. And I don’t know if I’ll drink again because I just know I sleep better. I don’t have to ever worry about a hangover. I don’t, I don’t have to ever worry about my energy level going down, you know, like kind of sad and blue and all that. Cause it is a depressant. And since I had a lot going on in my life at the time, I just realized it wasn’t going to serve me. It wasn’t going to help. 

So I agree with you and I do agree. I think it’s easier. I’m going to be honest and I agree with you. When you’re going to do something to make a big habit change, do it all 100%. Like when you’re first learning how to be a different person, be all in, like you said, 30 days, 60 days, 90 days of no sugar or no alcohol, or I’m going to walk every day for 20 minutes, rain or shine. Doesn’t matter. 

26:00 Listen, when it was 50 below, when we had some 50 below, I walked the stairs. I walked the, my, I live on the 29th floor of my building and I walked up the stairs and walked the floor and walked up the stairs and walked the floor. Because that’s what I had to do. And I was like, I’m not going to not do something that’s good for me.

Lori: Love it. Love it. Love it. Now you mentioned, um, the daily stoic and some of the stoicism books. If you are listening to this podcast and you have not discovered the stoicism concept, dig in, dig in. Um, there’s such good books, but which ones do you rely on? 

Jacqueline: So I do a morning devotional and then I do, and then I pray and meditate. And then I do, I read a passage from the daily stoic by Ryan holiday. I highly recommend it. And then I read a passage from a book called 177 Mental Toughness Secrets of the World Class. It’s a mouthful by Steven Siebel. I don’t know. I think I hope I pronounce that correctly. And I do those three every day, every morning.

27:00

There are some days I will do what I know some people know about called the morning pages. If I wake up and I got a lot on my mind that day before I do anything, I might sit down and do the morning pages. Now I don’t do the three, eight and a half and 11 sheets. I do the three in my journal sheets and just make myself write and get all of that out. 

I’ve also had women in our group. They do something called if you really struggle with a lot of negative thinking and negative self-talk, um, Um, they do think they call, they have like a negative dump journal. It’s a separate journal and you just write all the negative stuff and get it out so that you can then turn and focus your mind on positive things and putting positive things into your mind. 

And then I finish my morning routine with what’s called the journal called the sunrise manifesto. And it’s about gratitude. It’s about things you want to accomplish that day. I design, uh, my coach has designed it a little differently in terms of how the pages are laid out is different than how I do it. 

28:00 I do affirmations. So there’s a page that’s kind of a brain dump page, but I do all my affirmations. So I do lots of “i ams” and lots of written visualizations of what I want my life to look like and what I want to attract into my life. Wonderful. And I listen to positive podcasts and music and you know, That’s kind of what you ingest is really important. What you become. Yeah. Every aspect, physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally. 

Lori: Yeah, seriously. Well, we will put notes to these recommendations that Jacqueline has talked about in the show notes on the workmomsays.com website. So if you’re listening to this on Spotify or Apple or one of these other podcast platforms, feel free to run over to our website and you can get the show notes and the details and links to purchase these books and things like that. 

29:00 Jacqueline: Can I say one thing? Sure, please do. We’re talking about strategies for mental toughness. And we’ve talked about getting a routine and recognizing that discipline, you know, forever is built one day at a time. Yeah, for sure. Sometimes it’s one meal at a time and sometimes it’s one workout at a time. And that’s all you’ve got the strength for. And that’s OK. But just do it. 

Literally, the Nike saying of just do it is seriously great. Stop thinking about it and just do it. And don’t the Stoics say, Laurie, you can act yourself into a better way of thinking. Yes. And think yourself into a better way of acting. So if you’re in doubt, take action. If you’re in doubt, I can’t tell you, I never used to be a big walker. I can’t tell you how many walks I take now. Sometimes it’s 10 minutes. I just go outside my building. I walk for five minutes one way and turn around, walk back just to clear my head.

What I wanted to say about that was don’t stop trying. Like what works for Lori and I might not work for you, but the important thing is to keep looking, keep searching, keep But you have to give it more than a day or a week. You have to commit to something for 30 days and really commit to the program as it’s designed by the person who designed it. Yes.

30:00 Because if you’re struggling, it means what you’ve been doing and thinking you’re smarter than everything else and everybody else ain’t working. People who created it, do it the way they want you to do it for 30 days. And then you can tweak it once it becomes your own and you make it your own in your own habit. 

Lori: Absolutely. Now there’s a quote that you use and I’d like us to close with about things being hard. Oh, yes. Yeah. This is a really good one that you really want to keep in mind. I want it on a shirt or a necklace or something or I can get a tattoo. 

Jacqueline: You could use it for lots of different things, but I have used it for losing weight. No, stop. Repeat. Being overweight is hard. Losing weight is hard. Maintaining a healthy weight is hard. Choose your hard. Yeah. And it’s a choice. 

31:00 Lori: Yep. And life is hard. I’m sorry, but there are times when it is so hard, you know, and 

Jacqueline: Suffering is the only thing that life will ever guarantee you. Yeah. Yeah. That is the one guarantee in life is that there is suffering and there will be suffering in your life. And that’s why you want to be mentally tough. That you can withstand it and move on and see that life is happening for you to teach you lessons. Mental toughness is also about learning to see life from perspective of what are the lessons I’m learning that will help me be a better person? 

32:00 Lori: Absolutely. Love that. And when something catastrophic happens or something negative happens, it’s really helps me to be tougher to immediately look for that lesson. Well, that wasn’t, that didn’t work. And what did we learn? We learned what didn’t work. 

Jacqueline: It also helps because it gives you perspective of realizing I’m going to tell you somebody always has it worse. Yeah. And there’s nothing wrong. And it’s important to remember that if this is happening to me and I hate it and this sucks. Yeah. But to remind myself, I know there’s somebody else who has it way worse than I do. And so that helps to get perspective so that I can, again, get through it. And then that helps mental toughness as well. 

And the one thing I want to say that it also is if you’re here and you’re listening to this and you’ve been through some really difficult things in your life, you already have some mental toughness because you’re still here. And you’re listening to this, which means you want to learn more about how to get mentally tougher. 

33:00 So here’s the deal. Accept that it happened to you. It’s not about you. Accept it happened to you and realize where do I go from here? Yeah. Where do I go from here? 

Lori: Immediately swap your mindset from, oh my God, look what’s happening. Right. To what do I learn from this and how quickly can I move on? Instead of why me, you want to say, how do I fix it? How do I move beyond it? Yep. And move into action. Exactly. Exactly. Action is always the best choice when you’re in a situation. 

One person I used to work with used to say, one of the best ways to be successful is to lead with your face and have a bias for action, which means bring 100% of yourself to it and have a bias toward action over inaction and move forward. 

34:00 Jacqueline: And recognize that like wallowing in the past or worrying about the future, that’s where all the pain is. The present is the only thing you have any control over anyway. And so, you know, if you focus on today, I just have to work on this today. And like I said, sometimes it was, I just got to eat this meal because all I really want to do right now is eat cupcakes. But I’m just going to eat this meal and I’m going to have the cupcakes, but I’m having later. 

Delayed gratification, by the way, is another very important aspect of mental toughness. Doing delayed gratification will make you mentally tougher.

I think of how many times you- And you know, rush time. Here’s the reality. I really believe this. The human brain can only process things at a certain rate and it doesn’t matter how fast the computers get. And that’s why people are freaking out because our bodies and our minds, it’s not the way the human experience is. Yes.

35:00  We have all this great technology and it’s wonderful, but just remember the human experience operates at a different pace. And if you accept that and you embrace that, it will help a lot. I know. 

Lori: Slow down to speed up. That’s another good one. Slow down to speed up because if you slow down, you don’t make mistakes. You’re more, you’re more measured in what you’re doing. You can be more intentional. So slow down to speed up. We have a lot of great, great phrases to give people. We need a line of t-shirts, Jacqueline. We do. 

We’re going to wrap this up. Thank you so much for Jacqueline for being here today. Tell us how people can get in touch with you. 

Jacqueline: Well, first, I want to thank you so much for inviting me to be on. It’s my honor and pleasure to be here with you. And you can find me at www.jacquelinelaurencellel.com. I will spell that out. My name is a mouthful. So it’s www.jacquelinelaurencelle.com. L-A-U-R-E-N-C-E-L-L-E.com. You can also check me out at JacquelineCooks.com. Same spelling of the name.

36:00 And my Instagram is JacquelineMLaurencelle. So J-A-C-Q-U-E-L-I-N-E-M- L-A-U-R-E-N-C-E-L-L-E. Check me out on Instagram. I’m also on TikTok and YouTube and all the good places and Facebook, of course. 

Lori: She’s all over the place. She is all over the map. So be sure to follow her. Be sure to follow Jacqueline because she not only is she sharing her story of transformation, which is really compelling and interesting, but she also acts as your healthy cooking coach. 

So she talks about things that help you make menus that are. you know, meals that are more healthy and how to use, she’s got a video I saw the other day about how many knives you should have and how to use them and spices and how to set up a great kitchen. 

37:00 Jacqueline: Yeah. I’m very lucky because I’m able to use my French, my classic French training cook, you know, chef training to be able to realize that healthy food is sexy and delicious. And that’s the only way I want it. I I’m not going to spend the rest of my life eating cardboard. I’m not interested. So, so healthy food is sexy and delicious. 

Lori: So that’s her motto. So yes. And please, I’d love to hear what your thoughts are. Yeah. So do us a favor. Um, go ahead and Check out our website at workmomsays.com. That’s where you’ll find show notes. You’ll find the book links. You’ll find links to Jacqueline’s social pages and her websites. So if you didn’t write that down because you’re listening in your car, jump over to workmomsays.com and you’ll find that there. 

38:00 If you are listening on a podcast platform, please drop me some stars. Those really help with viewership. Write me a review. And on the contact form on the website, I’d love to hear who you’d like to have me interview on Work Mom Says. I’m open to lots of different guests or if you have a question. that I can answer for you related to EQ and work and how to play the emotional context board of business. I’d love to hear from you. Until next time, take care. Bye.

Who is our ideal listener?

This podcast is for young professionals, so they can learn to play the emotional context sport of business and experience less drama and more success.

How can you be more logical and less emotional? Be strategic, and Work Mom Says can help you.

“I tell people to back up, put down the magnifying glass, and look at the big picture when you’re responding to something,” said Lori Jo Vest, Work Mom. “In doing this, you will understand that what’s really upsetting you right now will be something you don’t even remember next week.”

What value can people get from listening to this podcast?

Listening to Work Mom Says can help you grow your mood management skills, grow your ability to reframe situations, and look at things from a strategic point of view. This makes it easier to go into a work situation and get the most positive results.

On Work Mom Says, we also offer tips and tricks for creating connected positive relationships that last over time. People will want you on the team if you can create connected positive relationships and work environments. You become an asset, and you will be more successful when you’re an asset.

“I also like to talk about developing traits like optimism, persistence, tenacity, stick-to-itiveness, sticking with things, and approaching every project with a curious mind instead of a fearful mind,” said Lori Jo Vest, Work Mom

                                                                                                     

Why do I do this? A few more words from Work Mom

I do this because I naturally fell into the Work Mom role when I worked in the ad agency business and had so much fun with it. I also realized I had made just about every mistake there was to make. I don’t hold myself as a stellar example of truth and how you should be. I hold myself out there as someone who has been bruised, battered, and beaten up and learned some important lessons. I’d love to share these lessons with young people, so they don’t have to make those same mistakes or be the idiot I was.

I also want to help young professionals realize that many things our culture prioritizes aren’t really important. We talk a lot about what should be important and how to present your best face at the office so that you can succeed.

I’ve learned so much throughout my career, and it’s gratifying to share that with young professionals and help them avoid some of those mistakes and get to that success sooner.

Episode 26 – “The Origin of Work Mom Says (Plus a Sneak Peek at My Upcoming Book)” appeared first on Work Mom Says.