Themes discussed in this episode

• What is imposter syndrome?
• The degrees of imposter syndrome
• Making friends with your imposter syndrome
• Symptoms of imposter syndrome
• Times where I have experienced and overcame it
• Practical tips for overcoming it

Resources Mentioned in the Episode

• Little Voice Mastery by Blair Singer
• The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: And Men: Why Capable People Suffer from Impostor Syndrome and How to Thrive In Spite of It by Dr. Valerie Young
• Follow Benjamin Hardy on LinkedIn

Episode Highlights

Timestamped inflection points from the show

1:30 – Definition of imposter syndrome: It’s a psychological phenomenon in which a person doubts their intelligence and accomplishments despite evidence to the contrary.
2:20 – Make friends with your imposter syndrome: If you really want to grow in your career, you have to be willing to be a little uncomfortable. Otherwise, you won’t grow and be successful. So acknowledge your imposter syndrome and let it drive you toward your goals.
3:40 – If imposter syndrome is having a significant impact on your life, professionals can help: If your imposter syndrome is causing you to lose sleep and it’s stopping you from taking on new challenges, a therapist can be really helpful.
6:00 – Practical ways to overcome it: Challenge negative self talk, focus on your strengths, and celebrate every win, no matter how small!
7:00 – A support group makes all the difference: Joining a business community or networking group can give you the support and mentorship you need to overcome your self doubt.
8:00 Self-compassion is key: Feelings aren’t tangible facts, so when you feel like an imposter, master the mean little voice in your head.

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Top Quotes

1:30 – “Imposter syndrome is a psychological phenomenon in which people doubt their accomplishments and have a persistent belief that they are frauds, despite external evidence to the contrary. Those who experience imposter syndrome believe they’re not intelligent, capable, or deserving of success.”
4:00 – Imposter syndrome can cause young professionals to not take risks, not pursue their goals, or they don’t reach their full potential because they just feel like they don’t deserve it and they just don’t bother.”
5:00 – “Acknowledge those feelings, journal about them, and then challenge them. Is it true that I’m not really capable? Because if I wasn’t capable, why did they hire me?”
6:20 – “Continue to see the good in where you are going because when you’re trying to go somewhere big, it’s hard. And if you’re constantly looking at your failure more than you are your success, it’s that much harder.”

Links

Check out our LinkedIn episode for more ways to effectively grow your network and get that next opportunity.

Connect with me on LinkedIn. Order my book!

Transcript

00:00:30
Hello everybody. I’m Lori Jo Vest. Thank you for joining me for this episode of Work Mom Says Don’t Be an Idiot today. We’re going to talk about imposter syndrome. Now, this podcast is for young professionals, id level professionals maybe, to help you learn to play the emotional contact sport of business.

00:01:00
So you experience more success. And less drama. And the drama part is what we’re talking about here. Um, imposter syndrome is a huge topic in, you know, in social media and in the news these days. And I looked it up to see like, what is it and what do we do about it? And the definition that I got, I think I got it from dictionary.com is imposter syndrome is a psychological phenomenon in which people] doubt their accomplishments and have a persistent belief. That they are frauds, despite external evidence to the contrary, those who experience imposter syndrome believe they’re not intelligent, capable, or deserving of success. There are degrees of imposter syndrome.

You can have, like, you can get it once in a while when you go into a meeting with, you know, a lot of people you don’t know or high level execs, or you may have it all the time, like, I can’t believe they gave me this job. I don’t know what I’m doing. And I’ll tell you, I have a different take on it than most people.

Um, I think imposter syndrome should be something that you make friends with, because if you really want to grow in your career, you need to feel a little bit uncomfortable most of the time. And the reason I say that is because if you are comfortable, you’re probably stagnant. If you’re stretching, growing, doing new things, you’re going to be a little uncomfortable.

[00:02:00]
So I didn’t learn until I was well into my thirties that if you want to be successful, get comfortable. Being uncomfortable is a really good mantra because those of us who are out there stretching, growing, um, making things happen are frequently doing things that we’ve never done before. And that can make you feel uncomfortable.

If you follow me on LinkedIn, If you don’t, please do. I’m Lori Jo Vest. I’m an open networker there. And I just put a meme up a couple of weeks ago and it was really good. And it says, I have no idea what I’m doing and you can’t stop me. And I love that because if you. are always doing what you know how to do.

You’re not growing, you’re not learning, you’re not developing as a human being. And imposter syndrome, you should be in rooms where you may not quite belong there yet. That’s how you learn. That’s how you stretch. That’s how you grow. But let’s talk a little bit about what They say are symptoms of imposter syndrome, feeling like you don’t belong, feeling like you’re going to be found out as a fraud, feeling like you’re not good enough.

[00:03:00]
You don’t want to take on any new challenges. You’re overworking and you have difficulty taking credit for the work that you do. When someone tries to compliment you, you might, you know, shoo it off because you’re just not. you know, don’t feel like you deserve any congratulations. So it can really affect your career if you don’t handle it well.

And it can have a significant impact on young professionals because it can cause you anxiety, stress, depression, inability to sleep. Um, if it gets to that point where you feel like you can’t sleep and you’re having difficulty, you know, taking on new challenges, get a therapist. Um, there are a lot of therapists out there that can help you with the psychological aspect of um, imposter syndrome.

[00:04:00]
It may go deeper than just your typical being challenged kind of thing because that happens. Imposter syndrome can cause young professionals to not take risks, not pursue their goals like I’ll never be an author, I don’t know how to be an author, it’ll never happen. Why not just take the steps toward it and see if you can learn as you go.

Or they don’t reach their full potential because they just feel like they don’t deserve it and they just don’t bother. Because it does take, you know, some emotional lifting to get past that feeling of not being good enough and not being able to do what you think you should be able to do. So practical tips.

Overcoming imposter syndrome is Um, it’s an emotional thing and one of the things you should do right away is just acknowledge it, give it some attention, go, wow, isn’t this interesting? I feel like I, I don’t know what I’m doing. What am I even doing here? And just acknowledge and explore. I would suggest you journal about it because often journaling will help you get, um, help you process emotions and feelings that might not make sense because in order to write about them.

[00:05:00]
You have to be able to make sense of them. They have to be in a logical order or you won’t be able to put words to them. So h I remember taking my first job at a big ad agency.

When I was in my late forties and I did not feel like I belonged there. Everybody, everybody was 10, 15, 20 years younger than me. And it was just a really strange, uncomfortable feeling. And I felt like I was an imposter because I wasn’t cool enough. I wasn’t hip enough. I felt like I didn’t know enough, but within about six months, you know, I’ve got the agency culture and figured out how that worked.

And I turned out to be pretty good at my job, you know, to the point where I left and they called me and brought me back. I quit and went to a new job and that didn’t work out well. Fortunately, big agency land called me back. And, um, that can happen if you don’t burn bridges, when you leave a place of employment, don’t burn the bridge because you may need to go back quick, teachable moment there.

[00:06:00]
So challenge those thoughts, focus on your strengths. What are you really good at? If you’re a really good writer or you’re really good at negotiating with, you know, angry customers, or you have really strong relationships with your coworkers, focus on those strengths. What are you good at? Celebrate every win.

I have a coach that I’ve worked with for years, Denise Roberts, and she taught me that celebrating even the smallest things could help you. Continue to see the good in where you were going, because when you’re trying to go someplace big. It’s hard. And if you’re constantly looking at your failure more than you are your success, it’s that much harder.

So celebrate the small wins. Um, look for support. Um, when you’re feeling that way, if you really want to power ahead and power through, get into a support group, um, join a business community, join a trade association, find a meetup group or an online networking group and go regularly meet people, make friends.

[00:07:00]
And, and you’ll get the feedback that you’re looking for, because you’ll hear from those people who have your best interest at heart, usually, that, you know, you’re doing a great job, you know, you can develop relationships in those communities with people that are older than you, more experienced than you, maybe have a different personality style than you do, and don’t be afraid to look for mentors in those groups too.

So look for support. And then the last and most important thing is practice self compassion. You feel like an imposter. All that is, is a feeling. Feelings are not tangible facts. You feel like I’m an imposter in your job. Well, you’re in your job. So that’s a pretty good indication that you’re not an imposter.

And there are other things you can do beyond those practical tips. I would. offer some, a few books here that I would advise you to pick up or look into for, you know, to process it a little deeper. If it’s something that’s really bothering you. Uh, one is little voice mastery. We all have a little voice in our head.

[00:08:00]
Some of us have 37 little voices in our heads and they’re all screaming. Some of us have monkeys in our heads and they’re all throwing, you know, bananas and poo at each other. Um, the voices, the voice, That you speak to yourself with is very powerful. So little voice mastery is a book by Blair Singer. And he talks a lot about how to turn that little voice and do more of a coach than a punisher.

And it’s, it’s really important that you learn how to do that. If you want to really fly and hit those high targets. So there’s also imposter syndrome overcoming the fear that haunts your success by Valerie Young. Great book. Um, and we’ll help you work through some of the things that are, that are, you know, help holding you back because you don’t feel like you deserve them.

[00:09:00]
And my last recommendation is that you follow Benjamin Hardy. Benjamin Hardy has so much great material and he’s Always advises you to put yourself in rooms where you are not the smartest person, put yourself in the company of company of people who are doing what you want to do eventually, and make friends in high places, basically.

And don’t be afraid to chase. The really heavy goals that you dream about, because the only way you’re going to get them is if you chase them. So that’s what I have for you today, guys. Uh, thank you so much for joining me. Uh, we did take a little hiatus there, but we are back and hope to have an episode every two weeks.

We’d love to hear from you on what you would like us to cover. Um, who you’d like just us to talk to this season. Um, my, uh, website is workmomsays.com. There’s a contact form there. Um, make your suggestions. Give me feedback. Um, tell me what you’d like me to talk about. So thank you so much again for joining me.

[00:10:00]
Work mom says signing off. Thanks for listening to Work Mom Says Don’t Be An Idiot for more information. You can email work mom here. And remember, don’t be an idiot.

Who is our ideal listener?

This podcast is for young professionals, so they can learn to play the emotional context sport of business and experience less drama and more success.

The ideal listener is anyone struggling on an emotional level in the workplace. Work Mom Says it helps you learn to be strategic at work. This means you can look at the big picture without getting lost in the weeds. How can you be more logical and less emotional? Be strategic, and Work Mom Says can help you.

“I tell people to back up, put down the magnifying glass, and look at the big picture when you’re responding to something,” said Lori Jo Vest, Work Mom. “In doing this, you will understand that what’s really upsetting you right now will be something you don’t even remember next week.”

 

What value can people get from listening to this podcast?

Listening to Work Mom Says can help you grow your mood management skills, grow your ability to reframe situations, and look at things from a strategic point of view. This makes it easier to go into a work situation and get the most positive results.

On Work Mom Says, we also offer tips and tricks for creating connected positive relationships that last over time. People will want you on the team if you can create connected positive relationships and work environments. You become an asset, and you will be more successful when you’re an asset.

“I also like to talk about developing traits like optimism, persistence, tenacity, stick-to-itiveness, sticking with things, and approaching every project with a curious mind instead of a fearful mind,” said Lori Jo Vest, Work Mom

                                                                                                     

Why do I do this? A few more words from Work Mom

I do this because I naturally fell into the Work Mom role when I worked in the ad agency business and had so much fun with it. I also realized I had made just about every mistake there was to make. I don’t hold myself as a stellar example of truth and how you should be. I hold myself out there as someone who has been bruised, battered, and beaten up and learned some important lessons. I’d love to share these lessons with young people, so they don’t have to make those same mistakes or be the idiot I was.

I also want to help young professionals realize that many things our culture prioritizes aren’t really important. We talk a lot about what should be important and how to present your best face at the office so that you can succeed.

I’ve learned so much throughout my career, and it’s gratifying to share that with young professionals and help them avoid some of those mistakes and get to that success sooner.

Episode 26 – “The Origin of Work Mom Says (Plus a Sneak Peek at My Upcoming Book)” appeared first on Work Mom Says.