In episode 18 of Work Mom Says: Don’t Be an Idiot, join Work Mom (Lori Jo Vest) and Chrissie Zavicar as we dig into the topic of sobriety. Chrissie is the CEO of E-Link Consulting and is outspoken about her sobriety journey.
We explore multiple facets of sobriety from the common fears of becoming “boring” when you quit to the healthy ways to cope with your trauma.
Themes discussed in this episode
- Using alcohol to numb feelings temporarily rather than process them.
- Calling yourself an alcoholic vs addicted to alcohol
- Your trauma doesn’t go away when you walk into work
- Healthy ways to cope and heal from trauma and alcohol addictions
- The benefits of somatic therapy
Featured Guest
Expert Guest: Chrissie Zavicar
Title: CEO of e-link Consulting and CEO of First and Sober
What She Does: As the CEO of e-link Consulting, Chrissie leads workshops for LinkedIn Profile Optimization for individuals and teams. Chrissie is also the CEO of First and Sober, a newsletter about her journey with sobriety.
Connect: You can find Chrissie on LinkedIn and on her website.
Episode Highlights
Timestamped inflection points from the show
6:08 – Numbing instead of processing: We numb ourselves with alcohol to make our stress go away temporarily rather than processing it in a healthy way.
9:15 – Examining your shame: working through feelings of shame and trauma can be extremely difficult, but it’s important to get yourself into a healthy space to really feel those emotions.
13:50 – Samuel L Jackson and his sobriety: When he was getting sober, he was concerned that he wouldn’t be as good of an actor, but in reality, the opposite was true.
16:10 Peer Pressure: Anyone who pressures others to drink does not have a healthy relationship with alcohol.
22:42 – Yoga for healing: We disconnect from our body when we try to numb our feelings with alcohol. Yoga is a great way to pay attention to your body and reconnect your mind and body.
23:49 – The Body Keeps the Score: In this book, they did brain scans of Vietnam veterans and other people with trauma. They mapped their brains while reading them accounts of their own traumatic experiences. They found that when you’re triggered, your brain believes that you are actually back in that situation.
Quotes
5:50 – “But in reality it’s numbing out from whatever’s causing the stress. So instead of sitting there saying why am I stressed, what’s going on, why am I having such a hard time and processing that, let’s just make it go away temporarily.”
11:00 – “I actually think that does a lot of people a disservice because it’s a great excuse for people to be able to say, ‘well I’m not an alcoholic. I don’t look like the guy on the street with a paper bag who’s stumbling around and doesn’t have a home to go to. That’s an alcoholic. I’m not an alcoholic.’”
12:28 – “I think that’s the thing people don’t realize is that you’re using an addictive substance and the more you use it, the more your body gets used to it, so you need more. You don’t need to be quote unquote born an alcoholic to develop a drinking problem. You can develop a drinking problem just by continually drinking.”
14:46 – “I knew that if I continued drinking, I would not reach my potential as an entrepreneur, as a business owner. My productivity was crap. My focus was bad, and I knew in the back of my mind if I don’t stop this I’m never going to be as good as I can be.”
23:35 – “If you research actual trauma, talk therapy does not help real trauma.”
24: 44 – “These studies say that when you’re triggered, your brain believes you’re actually back in that situation.”
29:11 – “You don’t become a different person just because you walk into your office. You’re still carrying all your past baggage of all of these things, but there’s this expectation to just leave it on the doorstep, and it doesn’t work that way.”
Who is our ideal listener?
We do this podcast for young professionals, so they can learn to play the emotional context sport of business and experience. We also do it to help them experience less drama and more success.
The ideal listener to me is anyone who is struggling at work with emotion management and anyone who’s struggling on an emotional level in the workplace. Honestly, that happens to all of us at some point. We get all knotted up about something. Someone was nasty to you in the parking lot before you went into work, so you’re a little anxious to start. The person that you sit next to gives you a dirty look or slams their office drawer. There’s just all these things that happen in your life day to day, and they create an emotional response.
At work, we’re expected to be logical. How can you be more logical and less emotional? Be strategic. What we talk about on Work Mom Says has a lot to do with being strategic at work, being able to look at the big picture, not getting lost in the weeds. I tell people to back up, you put down the magnifying glass, look at the big picture when you’re responding to something. In doing this, you will understand that what’s really upsetting you right now will be something you don’t even remember next week.
Being crabby, saying something negative to somebody at the office, or putting a snarky comment in an email isn’t really productive because from a strategic point of view, it’s all irrelevant. You should be looking at it from a logical perspective. Some of that involves framing, reframing, and being attentive to what you want your end goal for the situation.
What value can people get from listening to this podcast?
Listening to Work Mom Says is a really good way to grow your personal mood management skills, to grow your ability to reframe situations, and look at things from a strategic point of view so that it’s easier to go into a work situation and get the most positive results.
When emotions go up, logic goes down. So, when you can keep your emotions steady and stable, and not grab a hold of that feeling of angst and make it worse, you’re going to be more logical in what you do. You’re going to make fewer mistakes. You’re going to be more productive overall. You’re going to have stronger relationships.
Another value I think people get out of this is learning to create connected positive relationships that last over time. That’s not always easy. A lot of what we talk about on Work Mom Says involves being able to create connected positive relationships and work environments, so that people want you on the team. You become an asset, and when you’re an asset, you’re going to be more successful.
I also like to talk about developing traits like optimism, persistence, tenacity, stick-to-itiveness, sticking with things, and approaching every project with a curious mind instead of a fearful mind.
Why do I do this?
I do this because I naturally fell into the Work Mom role when I worked in the ad agency business, and I had so much fun with it. I also realized I had made just about every mistake there is to make. I don’t hold myself out there as any kind of stellar example of truth and how you should be. I hold myself out there as someone who has been bruised and battered and beaten up and learned some really important lessons. I’d love to share these lessons with young people, so they don’t have to make those same mistakes or be the idiot that I was, and I was an idiot. However, I learned so much, and it’s really rewarding to share that with young professionals and help them avoid some of those mistakes and get to that success sooner.
I also want to help them realize that a lot of things our culture prioritizes aren’t really important. We talk a lot about what should be important and how to present your best face at the office, so you can succeed.
Episode 18 – “How to Work for an Idiot” appeared first on Work Mom Says.